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Believe in Your Brilliance and Tame Your Inner Critic

Our inner critic can be one of the harshest voices we hear in the world. It might tell us that we don’t accomplish enough, we’ll never live the life we want to, or that we don’t deserve love. Sometimes it scolds us, tells us we deserve something that we definitely don’t, or flat out lies to us about our abilities.

Honestly, I think this pesky voice speaks with even more gusto in the minds of those of us living with mental illness.

I used to have a loud and bold inner critic. It was like, with every endeavor, there was a voice telling me I’d never make it. I argued against it, treating it like an old and stubborn friend, and finally it started to subside. Now this voice is a helpful one of caution. It warns me of potential obstacles and helps me overcome challenges, instead of creating more challenges in the first place.

Your inner confidant tells the truth, your inner critic does not

If your inner critic talks loud and clear, this episode is for you. There’s a powerful message about believing in yourself, then a strategy to quiet this self-defeating voice. With your inner critic tamed, you can finally start chasing down the life you’ve dreamed of living.

Just remember, what your inner critic says isn’t true. You’re brilliant. You’re incredible. Everything you want to achieve is possible. I have faith in you, and you definitely deserve to have faith in yourself too.

It would mean a lot to me and everyone else who reads this blog if you’d leave a comment below.

What self-defeating belief do you want to overcome? Feel free to add a long list of why exactly your inner critic is false!

You deserve to live a fantastic life and I don’t want your inner critic to stop you a second longer. I also want you to know that you’re so brave for facing this inner critic and continuing to try again and again, day in and day out. That’s real strength, my friend.

Take care, and don’t hesitate to forward this episode on to a loved one too!

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20 Comments

  1. Jessie

    Love this! Our inner self can be the worst!

    Reply
    • Arien Smith

      Indeed! It can certainly say some nasty things from time to time (or very often).

      Reply
  2. angela

    For every negative comment I my inner critic makes, I try to find two positive comments to shut it down. My favorite mantra lately is “”I am qualified and capable”. I repeat it to myself often.

    Reply
    • Arien Smith

      Love it, that’s a brilliant idea!!

      Reply
  3. Donna DeRosa

    I’m always fascinated by the harsh things we are capable of telling ourselves. We would never speak that way to anyone else.

    Reply
    • Arien Smith

      It really is surprising! Our inner critics can be so cruel sometimes, which is why we need to work to bring them a sense of love and acceptance, then we can find healing through this. Thanks for your comment, Donna!

      Reply
  4. Nadalie Bardo

    Hey Arien,

    I am in LOVE with this post (and your blog too).

    I’ve never thought of the A side of your inner critic as your inner confident. How amazing is that, your own bestie that just encourages you from the inside.

    I think it’s almost a practiced skill, the one you listen to more you hear more easily. The more you embrace your confidant and self-confidence, the less you hear the critic. Shut her up! That’s my experience anyways. And I wouldn’t say that the critic is always wrong, but I think our answer should be, “so what?”

    Thanks for the introspection,

    Nadalie, It’s All You Boo
    NEW POST: How Do I Slay My Goals?

    Reply
    • Arien Smith

      Thanks so much, Nadalie! It’s amazing what we can transform our inner critics into, isn’t it? I do agree, this is definitely a practiced skill (all personal growth is a process). Love the question of “so what”, too! We could even say something like, “okay, I hear you, so now what?” That’s a very action oriented question.

      I really appreciate your comment!

      Reply
  5. Sarah

    I definitely needed this, it’s something I’m really trying to work on. Thanks so much for the positivity and motivation! Happy Monday!

    Reply
    • Arien Smith

      My absolutely pleasure, Sarah! I’m so glad this helped you out. Happy Monday!

      Reply
  6. Tay

    This is so true! I can be so harsh on myself especially when it comes to succeeding at the little business I’ve started. I have to keep telling myself that I can and I will! That’s the only way to shut off my inner critic.

    Reply
  7. Aurora James

    My self-critic is pretty mean – especially after social interactions. I have a lot of social anxiety and that inner voice is sure to beat me up after I interact with someone. I’m trying to remind myself that what it says isn’t true and that nobody is judging me as harshly as I judge myself.

    Reply
    • Arien Smith

      Social interactions can be a huge trigger for our inner critics! So sorry to hear that you struggle with that. A lot of the people I work with have social anxiety, so I do believe it is definitely something possible to work through. The anxiety may still exist, but you’ll have an underlying confidence with it too.

      The self-loving reminder work you’re doing is fantastic! This free eCourse would be a great resource to help you work through this too, in addition to the work you’re already doing.

      Best of luck with this, you have my support all the way!

      Reply
  8. Jen at This Happy House

    This is amazing, and spot on! My inner voice has always told me I am not good enough. It is something I struggle with every single day. But I have been taking more risks lately, and pushing the voice out of my head more and more. Building self confidence quiets the voice, but it’s such a struggle!

    Reply
    • Arien Smith

      So glad to hear that it’s spot on! I bet that self-confidence building will make a huge impact. It takes time, like all self-improvement, so love yourself in the process too. You can do it!

      Reply
  9. Asti

    I guess I will take this topic to therapy with me. We are a DID system and our inner critic is an actual person with the habit of putting everyone down while creating a lot of pressure to be perfect and to have an “ordinary” life. I can’t live up to that, no matter how hard I try.
    We can agree on creating ways where there are no ways yet, to reach our goals in a way that is different from other people. Maybe the world needs us as someone who comes up with new ways of doing things. I am just too exhausted trying to be enough for our inner critic. Not sure how she can become something like a consultant, but maybe the therapist knows more.
    I am tired of being told that i need to fit in and do things exactly like everyone else is doing them.

    Reply
    • Arien Smith

      From experience, this has really helped me work with critical alters as well! It takes time, of course, but it can really help (depending on the resistance or responsiveness of the alter themself). Just by recognizing that you’re too exhausted to meet your inner critic’s standards is a huge step towards breaking free. Now you can start to live authentically as yourself and validate that you (and the rest of your system) are doing the best they can! Including your inner critic, she’s probably coping as best as she can too.

      Go out there and create that unique path! I totally believe you all can do it and teach the world many wonderful things in the process.

      Reply

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