Feeling like a burden is normal when we’re disabled survivors of abuse. People tend to make huge issues about the accommodations we need. They shame us for still “holding on to our past.” And so so much more.
This is all unfair. It’s ableism. But it doesn’t stop us from feeling like a burden—even when we know that society’s idea of us is wrong.
Life after abuse is difficult and it has left us with valid needs. We are sometimes forced to hide or conceal these, and our symptoms, to accommodate others.
It’s super backwards (us disabled people accommodating abled people by not “inconveniencing” them?), but this doesn’t change that it happens. And it impacts us.
As a result of this, you may find yourself feeling like a burden because of the symptoms you experience. Especially if they are obviously expressed or happen in public.
You may even feel shame over your own emotional pain, since you fear you’ll pull other people down with it.
But please, know this. You are never required to bottle up emotions. You can find people who treat you with respect.
Despite all of these toxic messages from society, this video shares how to reclaim a sense of being worthy and amazing. So, go ahead and give yourself some love by clicking play.
Feel held back by abuse? Read this: Overcoming Abuse Has Truly Empowered You
Only have a moment? Don’t miss these highlights:
How to break free from the backwards idea that we need to accommodate others, even when we’re the disabled ones. [1:00]
Why it’s on others to make sure our pain doesn’t burden them, and how to ask them to set healthy boundaries around what they can and cannot handle. [2:13]
What loving people to look for, and who to walk away from. [3:36]
You are not responsible for how other people react to your disability. Your symptoms and emotions are valid and they always will be—don’t let others shame you into thinking otherwise.
In fact, why don’t you join me in breaking free from this shame right now?
What is a time where someone left you feeling like a burden? Then write down exactly why, in that situation, you weren’t actually a burden!
Self-love like this is so important for all of us survivors, especially since most of us have come to hate ourselves after abuse. That’s normal, but it’s painful too. If you know a survivor who is feeling like a burden, please share this blog with them too.
I hope you find the freedom to experience your life, your symptoms, your emotions without stigma from others.
You are perfect, just as you are, and your experiences in this world are valid.
Know, today, that you are worthy and amazing. You always are, and you always will be.