Pushing People Away? Here’s How to Stop Rejecting Love

Rejecting love is normal for us survivors of abuse. We were once told that we were unlovable, that we deserved to be hurt, or that we weren’t worth anything. Now, when we’re handed truly unconditional love, we push it away. It’s normal to do this, but that doesn’t make it pain free.

Something in your past caused love to seem scary. And today, that cycle of fear repeats—pushing love even farther out of reach.

I’ve feared love before. Afraid of getting too close and then having my heart ripped out again, or my trust betrayed by someone I thought would treat me well. But gosh, it hurt to be running from the very thing that could bring me the greatest joy.

The reason you are rejecting love is because of a past emotional cycle that was impressed on you. This could have been from exes, abusers, parents, or even society at large. No matter the source, the cycle has stuck with you. Now, it holds you back from loving and being loved.

So, what do you do when you’re pushing this wonderful feeling out of your life?

These cycles are actually quite easy to break. They simply take targeted and self-aware action. You need to know where the weak point lies and how exactly to strike it.

In this episode, you will see how to dig deep and find your cycle’s weakness. Through this, you will overcome it and embrace loving relationships.

Decide how you want to heal from your past and start to love again.

Afraid to love because people leave? Read Embrace Love Despite a Fear of Abandonment

Love is worth seeking. Your past might be holding you back from embracing it now, but this won’t last for long. Within a few days of working on breaking this cycle, I’m positive that you will start rejecting love less. You’ll be letting the greatest forms of compassion in.

I’d love to know: What emotional cycle are you struggling with? What steps towards healing it can you take, starting today? Go ahead and leave a comment below!

If you know someone who is afraid they’ll never be truly loved, send them a link to this video. So many of us have survived abuse and come to doubt that we deserve love. When you share this video, you’re showing them how to embrace the deepest forms of compassion.

Right now it might feel like the only safe thing to do is to run away from love. But there are safe, wonderful relationships out there for you, waiting in beautiful anticipation to be experienced and embraced.

How close are you to living a life you love? Take the quiz here!


  • Essence Day
    June 14, 2018 at 9:21 pm

    I love this. I struggle with letting love in because of my fear of abandonment when I was little and this has given me th push I need to change that

  • Christina Melville
    July 15, 2018 at 1:25 pm

    I keep push my man’s love away from me. He wants to love on me but I keep pushing him away an I’m afraid i will loose him. He also drinks a lot.

  • Chris Clark
    February 27, 2020 at 1:02 am

    My two cents worth…

    I have never had a partner and I feel I don’t need one ever. I feel there is only room for one person in my life and that is me. I feel I am too strong as a character to share my life with anyone.

  • Lauren mcateer
    May 3, 2020 at 4:02 pm

    I have started speaking to someone I know I like but then I realise it’s getting serious so I tell them it isn’t working out from my point of view even though it maybe could have? I’m not sure whether it’s fear of commitment or my past that’s keeping me from opening up to people.

  • Sarah J Reyes
    May 26, 2020 at 2:34 am

    I’m trying to help my partner figure out why they reject true, devine, gritty, love. They’re intelligent but I don’t know how in tune with their feelings they can be or have been so far. I want to help them. I want to help us. I truly believe they think they are not worthy of love. This is our first REAL relationship battle to conquer to have a healthy companionship.

  • Hebe Edwards
    July 3, 2020 at 8:40 am

    My guy friend told me he wanted to start dating me, and I liked him. I’m seeing him today but I’m scared and almost regretful in a way? Feels like things are moving too fast but I don’t know how to stop it a little. I’m scared of being in a relationship- a little bit of a commitment issue, I think.

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