You ultimately get to decide what you believe and reject. And, with this power, you can free yourself from the pain of feeling like a failure. You can redefine success. You can honor all your accomplishments.
Someone once told us what success and failure meant. It may have been our parents, trying to coach us on our career. It could have been advertisements or societal stigmas. Whatever the cause, we learned what “failure” and “success” meant as children.
Sometimes critical thoughts came in subtle ways. Imagine you came home, boasting about the awesome 95 you got on a test. Your parents kidded, “If only it was a 100!” Even though they were joking, it resulted in your heart sinking. Suddenly that 95 didn’t feel so good.
In that moment, you were taught to look down on it. Anything less than perfection was seen as not being good enough. With current goals, that same need for success guides you. And, when you can’t quite reach it, you start feeling like a failure.
Sometimes messages are even more indirect. We see a beautiful model and, that night, when we look in the mirror, we’re acutely aware of how different we look from them. We believe our bodies failed to be beautiful enough.
Feeling like a failure can transform into a powerful decision to accept beliefs that help and reject those that don’t.
Feeling like a failure arises when we set some goal—explicit or not—and we cannot reach it. The goal could be a vision of how we look. It could be career success. It could be our mental health.
No person will ever reach every goal they set—no matter how many self-help books they read. You are not a failure when you miss a goal. You’re successful because of every bit of progress you make. The progress—large or small—is enough.
It’s surprisingly simple to overcome feeling like a failure. You just need to consciously select what beliefs to adopt. Reject self-deprecating ones and embrace compassionate beliefs.
But how do you ensure the right beliefs really stick in your mind? Well, that’s what this episode will help you do.
First, I’ll show you how to isolate the beliefs that limit and hurt you. You’ll digest the critical thoughts and—through targeted disputes—you’ll create new and compassionate definitions of failure and success. When the thought sneaks into your mind in the future, you won’t smash it away like a mosquito. You’ll approach it more gently, metamorphosing that mosquito into a butterfly. It’s through this gentle evolution that you will truly free your mind from feeling like a failure.
Still afraid of failure? Free yourself from that burden here.
No matter what you have accomplished in life—you are a success in my eyes. There are beautiful gifts you bring this world. It’s my hope you will start to see just how talented you truly are.
To bring some of this self-love into your life, I’d encourage you to comment below.
What is making you feel like a failure? What is the sneaky belief hiding behind that? If you’d like, go ahead and dispute that belief and create a new better one in its place.
Feel free to leave as thoughtful and lengthy of a response as you’d like. I love hearing every word you have to share.
Thank you so much for journeying with me today. It’s been a joy to bring all of my work to you and I truly hope you share this article with a loved one. If you found it helpful, I’m certain they will as well.