Uncover Your Joy | Healing from Abuse https://uncoveryourjoy.com Helping Survivors of Abuse Find Peace, Joy, and Prosperity Fri, 18 Sep 2020 21:29:22 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.5.1 https://uncoveryourjoy.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/cropped-Logo-rgb-copy-32x32.jpg Uncover Your Joy | Healing from Abuse https://uncoveryourjoy.com 32 32 Relationships After Abuse: You Can Find True Love https://uncoveryourjoy.com/relationships-after-abuse/ https://uncoveryourjoy.com/relationships-after-abuse/#comments Tue, 04 Aug 2020 13:18:19 +0000 https://uncoveryourjoy.com/?p=2739 This blog is a compassionate and uplifting one, filled with hope for us survivors of abuse. It’s all about how we can find truly loving relationships after abuse, even when it feels like no one will be able to handle us and our ‘baggage.’ If you’re looking for the proof you can find truly loving […]

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This blog is a compassionate and uplifting one, filled with hope for us survivors of abuse. It’s all about how we can find truly loving relationships after abuse, even when it feels like no one will be able to handle us and our ‘baggage.’

If you’re looking for the proof you can find truly loving relationships after abuse, read on.

I’ll be sharing my own story here, which has a really positive and inspiring ending, but heads up for a couple triggering themes. I survived many years of abuse, some of which was at the hands of lovers and partners, and I’ll talk about this in this blog. I won’t go into any graphic detail, though!

Past Abusive Relationships Don’t Destine Us for a Lifetime of Abuse

The first real relationship I ever had was with my high school best friend. We weren’t official, but we were somewhat attracted to each other, mainly through the young desire to explore sex and love. I was slightly curious (and dealing with newly remembered child abuse memories), and my friend was highly infatuated with me after I came out as being trans masculine. 

We’d been close for four years, so when I remembered, during college, some of what happened to me as a child, I confided in her. She decided, that same night, to sexually assault me—acting “possessed” by the spirit of my childhood abuser. 

It was one of the most shocking betrayals of my life. And it took me months to realize what was going on. My friend wasn’t really “possessed.” She was consciously deciding to use this lie to use me in a sexual capacity. It was only after she caused a series of near-death experiences for me that I realized this was not a normal relationship. 

I didn’t know better at first, my whole life having been shaped by over a decade of child abuse before that. So, it took me a while to realize I didn’t deserve what was happening, and to build my way out of the relationship. 

After this, I had my first formal relationship with a long-distance partner in California. They were a great support, especially in the beginning of sorting out this situation with my ex-best friend…but there was a lot of push-pull with them.

It got to a point, about a year into dating, where I was constantly rejected by them. We’d set up a time to Skype and they’d ghost me, sometimes not responding for a week or more. Eventually, they’d offer a lazy excuse like “Oh, I was busy with other friends” or “I didn’t feel like talking.”

Both valid on their own…but they were completely absent with communication. They just ignored me, despite me having told them being ghosted was a major trigger of mine. This lead to a messy end—where we decided on completely ending all contact. 

Then, after this relationship ended, I found my fiancée (or likely wife, if it’s past 2021 when you read this!). We have an absolutely unconditionally loving relationship, far more ideal that I ever could have imagined I could have after all the abuse I went through.

Discover how close you are to living a life you love (even after abuse) Click here to take the quiz!

We Can Find Healthier Partners with Each New Relationship

The reason I wanted to share this trio of relationships is to demonstrate one super important thing. With each new relationship, we can build healthier connections. 

Some of this is as we build our own skills. Like as we learn to set boundaries, leave toxic relationships, and stand up for ourselves. Some of it is simply walking away, early on, from people who show red flags—reducing the likelihood we’ll connect with an abuser. (Not that abuse is ever our fault, this is just a way we grow that naturally helps protect us too!)

My first relationship was sexually abusive and violent. My second was somewhat toxic and emotionally abusive, but far better than the previous. After this, I found my fiancée—and we’ve built a joyous life together. I knew what had hurt me in the past and I knew I didn’t want that pushing and pulling again. So, from the start, I was clear with my fiancée about that. This helped us begin with open communication, deep connection, and unconditional understanding.

I grew through these relationships, and you can as well. This will naturally guide you towards truly loving partners—or at least better and better relationships after abuse. Each time you leave someone abusive or toxic or just not great, you open the door for someone better.

I’m Not the Only Survivor Who’s Experienced Healthier Relationships After Abuse

I’ve talked with dozens of other survivors who have gone through this same journey to true love. Abuse before better (but not great) relationships, and then eventually they found divine connections. Many of them have been happily dating or married for years—and have expressed they never imagined love could be so amazing. 

That’s been my experience too. The constant building of personal skills while also walking away from those who hurt me (even when it wasn’t direct abuse) helped me get here. I truly believe all of us survivors can find this unconditional love, whether we desire it romantically or platonically. 

There are people who love you for who you are—even with all you carry from your past. There are people who will happily grow with you and adore you every step of the way. I firmly believe this and, as your journey continues, I’m sure you’ll see this directly in your own life. 

If you’re a survivor who’s noticed your own relationship getting better over time, or have found true love, please describe it in a comment below! The more people who contribute, the more survivors will have hope this compassion is within reach. <3 

How close are you to joy? Take this quiz to discover the stage of the prosperity path you're in.

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How to Stop Self Sabotaging Before It Ruins Your Life https://uncoveryourjoy.com/stop-self-sabotaging/ https://uncoveryourjoy.com/stop-self-sabotaging/#comments Tue, 28 Jul 2020 13:15:15 +0000 https://uncoveryourjoy.com/?p=2738 Self sabotaging is something most of us survivors of abuse have done at some point in our healing journeys. Like when we finally get close to someone, then push them away even though it’s a good relationship. Or we miss therapy appointments, even though we know they’ll help us.  All human beings have a tendency […]

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Self sabotaging is something most of us survivors of abuse have done at some point in our healing journeys. Like when we finally get close to someone, then push them away even though it’s a good relationship. Or we miss therapy appointments, even though we know they’ll help us. 

All human beings have a tendency to do this, so self sabotaging is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s in our nature…but, of course, it also limits the joy we can have in life. That’s why it’s worth breaking the cycle.

It takes work to overcome self sabotaging cycles, but it’s completely doable. You just need to understand how to notice them, discover the hidden motivation behind them, and get clear on the single most important step you need to take to break it. 

How to Identify Self Sabotage

Ever do something and later you ask yourself “Why did I do that?” (Or “Why didn’t I do that thing I should have?”)

Almost every regret is tied to self sabotage, at least when it involves decisions we make. (The regrets that aren’t connected are things that happen out of our control…like feeling regret about not having a good childhood when we were abused in our younger years. That’s not related to self sabotage.)

The first key to solving self sabotage is fully understanding why you go against what’s best for you. There’s a series of questions that will help you identify this. Answer these and you’ll understand your cycle!

First: “What was the consequence/the thing I’m regretting?” 

Examples are: “Pushing my partner away and getting in a fight.” Or “Not doing the worksheet my therapist gave me.”

Second, ask yourself, “What triggered the self sabotaging behavior?”

For instance, “My partner came home late and I felt insecure, like they might betray me like my past abuser did.” Or “I felt anxious at the idea of doing this worksheet and what it would make me consider about my trauma.”

Lastly, think about what beliefs came in between these two situations. “What did I think in between the situation and my self sabotaging action?”

Write every belief that comes to mind down—as this is where you find the weak link in the cycle. The negative (limiting) beliefs are what you can change, meaning you’ll effectively stop self sabotaging. 

Some examples could be “My partner’s cheating on me” or “Therapy just hurts me and makes me upset.”

How close are you to living a life you love? Take the quiz here!

How to Stop a Self Sabotaging Cycle

If you change the beliefs behind the cycles, you effectively cancel the entire self sabotaging behavior. Without these beliefs, it has no roots to cling to. 

But you need to find a healthy replacement belief to make sure the limiting belief doesn’t regrow. Doing this is a bit of an art, but the best advice I have is to focus on what need the limiting belief fulfills. For instance, “My partner is cheating on me” is a limiting belief that tries to protect you from betrayal, by giving you a heads up. 

A good replacement belief tackles that same need. Like, “I don’t know why my partner is late, but I am worried they may be betraying me. Even if this is why they are late, I can survive the outcome.” It handles the need without pushing you towards anger at your partner, or making assumptions. 

This blog here can help a bunch more with effectively replacing harmful beliefs.

Changing limiting beliefs can be a fairly long process (depending on what the belief is). But, self sabotaging behavior will often stop early on, as soon as you’re simply aware of the belief. So, even though the hurtful belief still exists, you have the power to stop yourself from reacting to it like you have in the past. 

Even this can take practice, but it’s far easier once you simply understand the cycle and know what needs to change. Eventually, once all negative beliefs behind the cycle are gone and replaced with newer, healthier ones, you’ll no longer find yourself self sabotaging at all!

Gain Life-Long Freedom from Self Sabotage

Self sabotage is such a prevalent thing us survivors face, so I’ve decided to focus a lot of my work towards helping others overcome this. I’ve faced dozens (possibly hundreds!) of instances of self sabotage myself…so healing it has become second nature now! 

Every empowering technique I know is in this eCourse right here, if you wish to find true freedom from these cycles. There are also great other strategies  you can use, like those in cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy. Your own mental health professional may be able to help you with this—if you prefer this route rather than peer support from survivors (like The Prosperity Path eCourse!). 

You can also explore this blog and this one for more info on overcoming self sabotage. <3 

Lastly, I’d love if you left a comment below! What’s one cycle of self sabotage you want to overcome, and what are your answers to these questions about it?

“What is the consequence of this self sabotage?”

“What situation triggered it?”

“What beliefs came up in between the situation and the self sabotaging action you took?”

“What is a replacement belief you can use when that self sabotaging belief comes up?”

Answering these in a comment below will help you get started on this journey of healing self sabotage…plus it can inspire other survivors to overcome their own too! <3

How close are you to thriving after abuse? Click here to take the quiz!

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Feeling Stuck in Life After Abuse? 5 Things You Need to Do to Free Yourself https://uncoveryourjoy.com/feeling-stuck-in-life/ https://uncoveryourjoy.com/feeling-stuck-in-life/#respond Tue, 21 Jul 2020 12:56:55 +0000 https://uncoveryourjoy.com/?p=2737 Abuse is impactful. Every one of us survivors knows this is true. Abuse leaves us with pains, struggles, illnesses, and a very long journey of recovery. It can leave us feeling stuck in life—since this healing path wasn’t one we chose or consented to. This knowledge, naturally, can be quite difficult to live with. How […]

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Abuse is impactful. Every one of us survivors knows this is true. Abuse leaves us with pains, struggles, illnesses, and a very long journey of recovery. It can leave us feeling stuck in life—since this healing path wasn’t one we chose or consented to.

This knowledge, naturally, can be quite difficult to live with. How do we “unstick” ourselves when we didn’t even ask to be stuck in the first place? Why do we even have to be the ones to do this work?

It all feels unfair, exhausting, and confusing. I’ve been there (for years!), but now I feel true forward momentum. I’m constantly moving closer to a life I love, and I no longer feel burdened by my past. 

This blog will help you access the same freedom and motivation. You’ll be able to overcome feeling stuck in life and truly find the peace you’ve been craving for years. All by understanding the five main blocks in the way of this liberation. Each one is described right below, with resources to help you overcome it.

Block #1: Not Accepting the Past

This is the most important thing to overcome. Break this block down and you’ll instantly stop feeling stuck in life. Acceptance is where you realize you can’t go back in time and change what happened to you, even if you want to. (And you accept those feelings of upset about that!) You have to let yourself grieve the past you didn’t get to have, like the good childhood or marriage you wanted.

Acceptance is not automatically being okay with what happened to you or tolerating additional harm against you. It’s simply acknowledge the literal reality we can’t change what we went through, and this prevents us from exhausting ourselves by resisting reality. It takes so much energy to heal, and an acceptance mindset gives us enough to handle that journey. 

Here’s a resource on unconditionally accepting emotions. Here’s another that describes, in depth, what acceptance is and is not! Lastly, here’s a whole transformative eCourse that’ll have you mastering an acceptance mindset in just a few weeks. 

How close are you to joy? Take this quiz to discover the stage of the prosperity path you're in.

Block #2: Inability to Recognize Your Personal Power of Choice

Part of feeling stuck in life is thinking that you’re powerless. It’s not unusual to feel this way after abuse—since your abuser literally did take away your power in the past. But, you’re free now and you can reclaim this. 

Overcoming this block is all about recognizing you do make empowered choices every day. Once you see this, you can start to push yourself towards decisions that actually help you heal and find joy. It may take a while to change things, but recognizing you are getting a little closer with every decision will help you stop feeling stuck in life. 

That program I mentioned earlier dives deep into a method to reclaim your inner power—and this blog talks about it too!

Block #3: Not Having Clear Core Values

Once you know you have the power to make decisions, you need a way to ensure those decisions are actually helpful for you. If you just make choices on a whim, or base them entirely off the advice of others, you’re not actually getting closer to true joy. And this will always leave you feeling stuck in life. Joy is freedom. 🌟

Core values are 8-10 large concepts that matter the most to you. Like family or mental health or inner peace. You define what these mean, and then you can use them to check every major decision you make—ensuring all your choices are directing you towards joy. 

Making value-based decisions is a bit of an art form, so here’s a blog that’ll teach you the basics of how to do this! Additionally, the Prosperity Path program here has an entire module on this—where you’ll get crystal clear on your core values and how to use them to guide your life towards joy. 

How close are you to living a life you love? Take the quiz here!

Block #4: You Try to Solve Problems Before Understanding the Issue

A deep understanding of what’s not working in your life is necessary before you can fix things and become unstuck. It’s human nature to jump into solving things, even before we really know what the problem is. 

Of course…this doesn’t really work all that well. So, if you keep feeling stuck in life, especially when you try to solve problems and don’t notice anything getting better, reflect on this. See if you can fully understand what’s going wrong, how it doesn’t align with your ideal vision for your life, and go from there. 

I haven’t yet written blogs on this topic in depth, but that program I mentioned earlier does have a whole module focusing on this. Here’s how you can join! (I promise I’ll write blogs on this in the future! Take this quiz to get added to my email list so you don’t miss it.)

Block #5: Your Solutions Aren’t Value-Based

Once you understand the problems you’re facing, you can make empowered solutions for it. But, the way you solve the issues you face has to be based in your values. Otherwise you’ll continue feeling stuck in life, because you’re not listening to what you authentically need and want. 

So, when it comes time to solve any issue you’re facing, take time to reflect on this question first. “Does this solution line up with my core values?” If it doesn’t, it’s time to look for a better option—one that truly fits the needs of your heart. 

You can use this blog as a guide on how to do that—and The Prosperity Path Program also has a whole section on this!

How to Permanently Stop Feeling Stuck in Life

When you work through all five of these blocks, and consistently practice overcoming them, it’s nearly impossible to stay feeling stuck in life. Even when some hugely unfortunate situation happens, you’ll be aware of your power and you know how to navigate around the situation, all while listening to your heart. 

I’ve had huge setbacks happen in my life, even in the past few months—yet, because of these techniques, I’ve haven’t actually felt stuck in life. I still feel free, just frustrated or pained by the struggle (as any person would, no matter their mindset!). 

The best way to master these skills is through The Prosperity Path program here. It’ll guide you along a six-week path to freedom from your past, all the way to a life of joy. You’ll have community support from other survivors of abuse along the way, too! 

The blogs I’ve linked to above are also a great resource, or you can do some research of your own based on these blocks (now that you know what they are). It’s all about finding what works for you! 💖

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Which of these 5 blocks is the main one you struggle with? What’s one thing you’ll do today to start overcoming it? Go ahead and comment below! Joining this conversation with other survivors is healing for all of us. 

You can also take this quiz right here to figure out which block you’re the most stuck in, if you’re unsure about it!

How close are you to thriving after abuse? Click here to take the quiz!

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Find It Hard to Heal From Abuse? How to Stop Blaming Yourself https://uncoveryourjoy.com/stop-blaming-yourself/ https://uncoveryourjoy.com/stop-blaming-yourself/#comments Tue, 07 Jul 2020 13:02:31 +0000 https://uncoveryourjoy.com/?p=2736 There was a viral post that went around Facebook a few months ago, about how it was harmful to say “Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility.”  That phrase had always rubbed me the wrong way, but I didn’t know why until I was a part of that discussion. And boy, did […]

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There was a viral post that went around Facebook a few months ago, about how it was harmful to say “Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility.” 

That phrase had always rubbed me the wrong way, but I didn’t know why until I was a part of that discussion. And boy, did I learn a lot! It helped me understand how I used that sentiment to guilt myself into healing, and how others—like you—might be using it as a way of blaming yourself too.

So, buckle in for a super interesting (and possibly a bit controversial) blog!

Do We Have to Heal from Abuse?

One key part of the conversation was about how it’s technically optional to work on healing from past trauma. I whole-heartedly agree with that. It is a choice—not something anyone should be forced to do. (Encouraged, sure! But forced, nah.) Being forced into it would take away your agency, which is the exact same thing your abuser did. This is a little different, given the situation, but can be harmful too. 

Plus, if you genuinely choose to heal, you’ll feel more motivated to put in the work and really attempt the things you need to in your recovery.

The key here is that, no matter what you choose, you are responsible for the impact of that choice. It’s completely up to you to decide on your path—even if that’s not healing—but that doesn’t excuse your responsibility if you hurt someone.

All our choices, even choosing not to do something, impact people and the world around us. If these consequences cause pain, we’re responsible for that. As long as we acknowledge this and make amends when necessary, we’re good. We can freely choose to heal or not.

You get to decide what your healing journey looks like for you. Just like every other person on this planet, you’re simply responsible for how you impact others—even if it’s unintentional.

This is the sole place responsibility comes into trauma recovery. Any more than that and you might fall into a trap of blaming yourself for not “healing fast enough” or “recovering in the right way.”

Discover how close you are to living a life you love (even after abuse) Click here to take the quiz!

We Have to Acknowledge Trauma Healing can Rarely be Done Alone

Another issue with the idea that healing is your responsibility is that, well, for most of us—we need community support. Depending on how severe the abuse was, we may not be able to heal at all without outside help. A lot of us survivors can’t even escape our abusers without outside intervention. So how can healing be our responsibility alone?

If you internalized this sentiment, you’ll end up blaming yourself for not leaving your abuser sooner. Or for still having PTSD.

Not everyone has the resources to recover from abuse, and this is extremely important to acknowledge. Poverty, disability, location (like living somewhere rural), culture, and other forms of marginalization can put resources completely out of reach. This sentiment also dismisses the influence of culture and societal stigma on escaping abusers and healing from trauma.

(This is one of the reasons I created Uncover Your Joy, a peer support system for survivors of abuse. Most of my work is through free and accessible blogs. I also have a super affordable eCourse for finding joy after abuse too.)

Sometimes even medical professionals are poorly equipped to treat certain trauma disorders. I ran into this a lot when navigating my diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder—as most mental health professionals know little about it and how to treat it. 

What’s the Verdict? Is Healing Your Responsibility, or is Saying that Phrase Blaming Yourself?

Healing from trauma is a choice—and you have a right to choose that or not. You’re responsible for the impacts of those choices, but you can freely decide what choices you make.

Both decisions can positively or negatively impact those around us. Our only responsibility is to make amends when needed. That’s simple human responsibility—something we need to do for all choices, even those unrelated to trauma. 

The idea of personal responsibility is a complicated one, especially when it comes to healing from abuse. So, I’ve actually included a whole module on this (5 videos!) in my Prosperity Path eCourse. You can check out more about this program right here. If you have a tendency to blame yourself, I’d highly recommend joining!

I’m super curious to hear your thoughts on this topic too! Do you agree with this take on responsibility? Do you think that quote creates a mindset that leads to blaming yourself? Comment with your thoughts right below. 💗

Let’s keep the discussions mindful and non-judgmental. This is a supportive and educational place, so respectful debate is encouraged—but cursing, down-talking, and all that blah stuff is not. Friendly reminder that comments like this will be deleted!

How close are you to living a life you love? Take the quiz here!

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What Is Psychogenic Pain? & How You Can Live a Good Life With It https://uncoveryourjoy.com/psychogenic-pain/ https://uncoveryourjoy.com/psychogenic-pain/#respond Tue, 30 Jun 2020 12:49:16 +0000 https://uncoveryourjoy.com/?p=2735 Psychogenic pain is when we feel pain that isn’t caused from a physical source (like a cut, bruise, virus, inflammation, etc). It’s essentially when our brain interprets that we’re in pain, but there’s no direct cause of it. At least, not a visible one. Psychogenic pain, though, is often tied to trauma and emotional stressors. […]

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Psychogenic pain is when we feel pain that isn’t caused from a physical source (like a cut, bruise, virus, inflammation, etc). It’s essentially when our brain interprets that we’re in pain, but there’s no direct cause of it. At least, not a visible one.

Psychogenic pain, though, is often tied to trauma and emotional stressors. In my opinion, that’s just as valid of a pain source as a gash. In most cases, pain medicine doesn’t work for this condition—so it can be incredibly hard to live with. (And that’s not even considering all the stigma!)

I’ve personally struggled with a set of conditions that come with this type of pain. I’ve been judged by doctors, family, and strangers…while struggling with the personal impact of living in chronic pain. 

I’ve also found methods of peace and healing.

This healing is what inspired this blog. It debunks some common myths about psychogenic pain and provide a few healing mindsets to adopt if you also live with this condition.

A Peek into the Science of Psychogenic Pain

“Psychogenic pain is physical pain that is caused, increased, or prolonged by mental, emotional, or behavioral factors. Headache, back pain, or stomach pain are some of the most common types of psychogenic pain.”

Source

It’s a surprisingly common phenomenon—and can hit anyone. Us survivors of abuse tend to have chronic cases (like long term back pain, abdominal issues, or more), but most people have experienced at least one moment of this. 

There’s no clearly understood cause for this pain, but most medical professionals consider it to be as real and impactful as chronic pain caused by a physical source (like a slipped disk). 

Unfortunately, little research has been done on psychogenic pain patients, so the current statistics are lacking. The best understanding is that 14% of psychiatric outpatients live with it chronically. 25% have conversion symptoms, which includes psychogenic pain and other conversion disorders like non-epileptic seizures. 

How close are you to joy? Take this quiz to discover the stage of the prosperity path you're in.

Myths About Psychogenic Pain

“Psychogenic pain is fake”

What determines pain to be real? Medical professionals have long known pain is a subjective experience. It’s something the brain interprets, and the brain can pick up on it from physical or emotional factors. Pain is an interpretation—meaning that if someone feels it, it’s real.

After all…is that stomach pain someone has before a big interview any less impactful than someone with a brief stomach bug? Both are felt fully by the brain. Both are reactions to stressors the body is experiencing. They just come from different sources. 

“People with psychogenic pain are delusional”

People with delusions may have a higher prevalence of psychogenic pain (since mental illness is often a cause), but the pain itself is not a delusion. That’s a whole different mechanism happening in the brain! (Also, even if psychogenic pain was a delusion, it doesn’t deserve any stigma or invalidation!)

Anyone can experience this type of pain, and most of us have. Like a back ache after a really stressful day, pain in your chest thinking about a tough conversation, stomach issues when you’re about to give a speech. When psychogenic pain is chronic, it’s often caused from a larger underlying factor—most often trauma or mental illness

In my belief (and it’s shared with some medical professionals), the body holds onto trauma. It communicates its own hurt through this type of pain, just like our eyes communicate sadness through tears. 

Healing Mentalities to Adopt if You Live with Psychogenic Pain

“I have the power to heal this”

Psychogenic pain is often caused from mental and behavioral factors, which fortunately is in our power (most times) to change or positively affect. New coping skills, mindfulness, talk therapy, and other methods like this are often used to effectively treat psychogenic pain. It’s not always a simple journey, but it can be done. 

“I thank my body for communicating with me”

If you consider trauma’s impact on the body, it’s easier to see how psychogenic pain is your body saying “I need healing too.” So, when it comes up, it’s often a sign there’s something unresolved or triggering—and that’s healthy inner communication. Shifting from a perspective of “My body hates me” to “My body is trying to communicate with me” can be truly healing. 

“My pain is valid.”

It doesn’t matter what those around you say, your pain is valid—no matter the source. Remind yourself of this often. Personally, I’ve found validating my pain to be a method of healing and reducing it too. Once I heard what my body had to say and stopped rejecting it, my pain naturally reduced. The power of validation is amazing!

Building a Joyous Life even with Psychogenic Pain

Joy can seem far out of reach when you live with chronic pain, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s true that you may have this struggle for a long time—but there are plenty of other factors that can bring real and true joy into your life despite this.

The best place to start is with acceptance. When you accept that this is part of your reality, at least right now, you’ll feel better. Resisting your reality (“I’m in pain”) is exhausting and stressful, which doesn’t help the pain. You’ll find peace through acceptance, and that can make a huge difference. (Validation is a form of acceptance, btw!)

So, if you live with psychogenic pain…what is one mindset you’ll work on adopting today? What’s one thing you wish people understood about this condition?

If you don’t live with it, what’s one thing you now understand about the condition, or one thing you’ll do to support those of us living with it? Comment below! <3

How close are you to living a life you love? Take the quiz here!

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3 Types of Meditation to Avoid as a Survivor of Abuse https://uncoveryourjoy.com/types-of-meditation-after-abuse/ https://uncoveryourjoy.com/types-of-meditation-after-abuse/#respond Tue, 23 Jun 2020 13:12:49 +0000 https://uncoveryourjoy.com/?p=2734 Mindfulness is an almost essential practice when we’re recovering from a traumatic past. Whether it’s therapeutic techniques (like Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), straight up yoga practices, morning meditations, or reading The Power of Now—there’s some level of mindfulness that’s necessary for our healing. Mindfulness teaches us how to tolerate stronger emotions, so they don’t overwhelm us. […]

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Mindfulness is an almost essential practice when we’re recovering from a traumatic past. Whether it’s therapeutic techniques (like Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), straight up yoga practices, morning meditations, or reading The Power of Now—there’s some level of mindfulness that’s necessary for our healing. Mindfulness teaches us how to tolerate stronger emotions, so they don’t overwhelm us.

But…there are certain types of meditation that can actually do a lot of harm to us survivors of abuse. Or, at the very least, they don’t work for many of us. 

So what are the types of meditation that are helpful, and what ones can be harmful? I’ll just into that in a split second, right after this acknowledgment.

Everyone is different, so it’s possible that your list of harmful and helpful mindfulness techniques may not match this blog. But I’d encourage you to consider this and join the discussion in the comments! This blog is based on consultations with professional mindfulness practitioners (what they recommend people with PTSD avoid), and conversations with trained mental health professionals. 

Potentially Harmful Types of Meditation

Stillness meditations: 

This is where you sit and simply observe your thoughts, with the intention of clearing your mind. In these types of meditation, thoughts can become very loud and bold (because we have nothing to distract us from them). That means more trauma memories or painful thought processes can come forward. This can create anxiety attacks or increase dissociation, since there’s nothing in a stillness meditation to keep you grounded. 

Trauma-based guided meditations:

Guided meditations can be fantastic…but not all of them. Ones that focus on things like “cleanse childhood trauma” or “erase flashbacks” can potentially do more harm than good. They might connect you too strongly to past pain, before you’re ready to process it. If you do want to check these out, make sure they’re created by a trained mental health professional. Even then, they aren’t personally working with you, so it may not be suited for your journey. I’d recommend speaking with your own therapist before trying one.

Body scan meditations:

This is a type of meditation that can incredibly beneficial, but only if you’re in the right place of trauma recovery. (So talk with your therapist first!) A body scan is basically where you rest and observe the sensations in each part of your body. For those of us who have survived physical or sexual abuse, our bodies hold memories of that trauma, so focusing on certain areas can be extremely triggering. There’s also no distraction to keep us grounded, as it’s similar in its observational style to a stillness meditation.

Discover how close you are to living a life you love (even after abuse) Click here to take the quiz!

5 Beneficial Alternative Types of Meditations

Basically, try these types of meditation instead!

Yoga (or other similar practices)

Yoga is a great way to focus on releasing thoughts and being in the moment, while staying grounded (because you’re moving your body). This practice works by having you focus on your breath alongside stretching and strengthening sensations. This naturally clears your mind without needing to focus on your thoughts specifically. Alternatives like Tai Chi and martial arts can work wonders too!

Breathwork: 

Breathing meditations (or breathwork) are when you focus on different patterns and styles of breathing as a way to clear your mind. This is also grounding, but more physically accessible than yoga and you can do it anytime, even in public. Some styles naturally reduce anxiety, like basic three-part breathing (where you compress your diaphragm, calming your nervous system). Extra benefit!

Energy cleansing:

If you like working with energy, these can be a great alternative type of meditation. Basically, energy cleansing works with the principle that our bodies have energy, and when this is unbalanced it can cause or increase stress. So, rebalancing this can be healing (not to mention it’s just mindful to do a meditation!). This includes things like acupressure, chakra work, reiki, or energy-based visualization. The benefit is that this gives your mind something to focus on, which prevents you from getting lost in trauma thoughts. You can do self-guided or audio guided meditations for this!

(P.S. Some you can even nap during! I do this all the time with Reiki.)

Walking meditation:

This works the same way yoga does, helping you focus on movement in your body to still your mind. Basically, take a walk and focus on feeling your feet on the ground. It’s super grounding, which helps bunches if you tend to dissociate! You can also add in other visualizations, like flower petals blooming with each step, or stressful energy being released into the earth as you walk. 

Loving Kindness meditations:

This is a guided style of meditation, where you say a series of self-loving statements, then spread love out into the world and to others. Here’s an example script you can follow! Since it’s focused on words, your mind won’t get distracted by trauma material easily, and you’ll also be connecting with your heart. That’s mindful! You can cut out the section in some meditations about sending love to someone you dislike, if that’s uncomfortable for you. Just focus on someone neutral to you.

Which Types of Meditation Do You Use? 

So…as a survivor, what’s your favorite mindfulness technique? Do you use any of these meditations regularly, or are there any you’re hoping to try? Comment below! (If you add a new suggestion, that would be handy for others too.)

Personally, my favorite is yoga and energy cleansing. These refresh me like nothing else, and yoga specifically has helped my body calm anxiety. I can also tolerate a lot more stress than in the past, which means difficult situations are less likely to interrupt my inner peace. 

How close are you to joy? Take this quiz to discover the stage of the prosperity path you're in.

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You are Capable of Finding Joy After Abuse—Here’s How to Start https://uncoveryourjoy.com/finding-joy-after-abuse/ https://uncoveryourjoy.com/finding-joy-after-abuse/#respond Tue, 09 Jun 2020 12:19:00 +0000 https://uncoveryourjoy.com/?p=2733 Does past abuse ruin our chances of living a good life (let alone finding joy)? My vision of a “best life” was essentially being okay with waking up each day. No longer wanting to give up. Surviving. I didn’t think any more than that was possible. That sounded like the best I could have in […]

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Does past abuse ruin our chances of living a good life (let alone finding joy)? My vision of a “best life” was essentially being okay with waking up each day. No longer wanting to give up. Surviving. I didn’t think any more than that was possible.

That sounded like the best I could have in life…and I’ve discovered many other survivors feel this way too. We guess we can get to an okay life—but don’t believe we can have something better than that.

But, finding joy is possible. By this I mean a true, genuine, love for life and adoration of yourself, others, and the life you live. 

This might not sound realistic right now, and that’s okay. I doubted my own potential to find joy all the way until I started to actually feel it. (And, even then, I questioned if it would stay!) 

But now, several years after that initial doubt, I can assure you joy is truly possible for survivors of abuse. Even for those of us who have gone through the most horrific things. (I’ve personally survived 15 years of violent abuse.)

This blog is a message of hope, to inspire you to give yourself a chance on this path towards joy. If it works for you, you’ll find a freedom and peace you’ve never had before—and that’s going to be a stunningly beautiful thing. <3

The 6 Stages to Joy After Abuse

There are 6 main healing steps survivors take to find joy after abuse. I discovered these through my own journey and conversations with hundreds of other survivors of abuse. I’ve since named it The Prosperity Path

When I was trying to figure it out, I had no one to guide me—so it was tough, messy, and chaotic. I don’t want you to be as lost as I was. That’s why I identified each stage of this path and added them to this blog (and other resources on my site!). 

Each of our journeys is unique, as we all experience the world in different ways, so The Prosperity Path is a very flexible guide too. You get to shape it towards the challenges and desires you have. 

Step 1: Unconditional Acceptance

What is this step?

Acceptance is recognizing the fact we can’t go back in time and change what happened to us—and becoming okay with that fact. It’s not becoming okay with what happened to us, though! (Like being pressured into forgiving your abuser.) Acceptance also shows you how to let go of the things you can’t change (so you don’t exhaust your precious energy trying to). It’s a healthy letting go, while still retaining your power.

Why is acceptance essential to finding joy?

Acceptance is the foundation of living a life you love. This is the stage that builds peace, and peace is the soil which joy can grow from. 

Step 2: Reclaim Empowerment

What is this step?

Abuse took away your power—that’s the very definition of abuse. Someone else made choices about your life, body, and mind…so this stage is about reclaiming the power you have to make choices about your own life. You’ll also want to start building healthy boundaries and rediscovering who you are as a person.

Why is reclaiming empowerment essential to finding joy?

Now that you know what you can and cannot change in life (thanks to acceptance), you’re able to make empowered decisions. You can decide exactly how you want to direct your life, now that you can see the innate power you have in every choice you make. 

How close are you to thriving after abuse? Click here to take the quiz!

Step 3: Design Your Dreams

What is this step?

You understand what you can and cannot change, and you know your power to make choices in life. So, now it’s time to get clear on what your dreams are. This stage is about unearthing your core values (meaning your heart guides your choices) and clarifying what in life needs to change in order for you to genuinely feel joyous. 

Why is clarifying dreams essential to finding joy?

Joy is based on living a life authentic to you, one that’s driven from your heart. So, once you know your core values—and you plan a life around them—your decisions are constantly moving you closer to real joy. Without this stage, you’d be trying to fix things in life without a clear idea of what’s authentically best for you!

Step 4: Identify Obstacles

What is this step?

In this stage, you’ll uncover exactly what’s holding you back from finding joy. What sort of limiting beliefs? What external obstacles (like toxic relationships, career struggles, money issues, etc)? This is where you essentially make a big long list of all the things that need to change to live a life you love.

Why is identifying obstacles essential to finding joy?

You have to know what’s not working in your life in order to fix it. Once you’ve identified internal obstacles (like limiting beliefs) and external obstacles (lifestyle factors)—you’re in a place where you can start to change them. And that’s the next stage! Put these together and you’ll be finding joy in no time.

Step 5: Strategize Solutions

What is this step?

You don’t start solving those obstacles you just identified quite yet. First, you have to brainstorm solutions that are in line with your values. It’ll also help you parse advice from others, so you’re not blindly letting other people guide your life in the direction they want to, rather than what’s best for you. Basically, you consider ways to overcome obstacles and compare them to your own heart—ensuring its the right way for you to solve that problem.

Why is strategizing solutions essential to finding joy?

If you solve obstacles just based on what’s easiest, or what advice you get, you’re not heading towards your truly joyous life. This stage helps you identify “is this the right way to solve the obstacle to bring me closer to longterm happiness?”

Step 6: Take Action & Thrive <3 

What is this step?

This is the final stage! You already mapped everything out—from what your dream life looks like to what’s in the way, and you know exactly how to solve those obstacles. So, now it’s all about taking action. You may need to overcome some hesitation and procrastination (The Prosperity Path program can help you with this!), but you’re basically there. This just takes consistent, little adjustments here and there, for you to start finding joy. 

Why is taking action essential to finding joy?

Well, this one’s simple. If you don’t take action, finding joy will be nearly impossible. You have your plan, so now it’s all about acting on it. 

How to Get Started on This Path

The Prosperity Path is a journey worth starting today. You deserve joy—and this may be exactly the guide you need to reach it. The best place to begin is by taking this quiz—it’ll show you which of these six stages you’re in and where to go from there. 

If this firsthand exploration into the Prosperity Path sounds good to you, then I’d highly suggest joining the Prosperity Path Program here too! It’s an in-depth exploration of each stage, complete with actionable exercises to help you master every step. You’ll build the foundation for peace through acceptance, reclaim your power, discover your dreams, and manifest a life of joy. (I’ve made sure to keep this program affordable, too!)

Community support is also a great to have along your journey to finding joy. So, go ahead and comment which stage you think you’re in (or what your quiz result was), and you can find other survivors who are in the same place! 

(You can also join this Facebook group here for extra peer support!)

Discover how close you are to living a life you love (even after abuse) Click here to take the quiz!

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The One Thing You Need to Successfully Break Bad Habits https://uncoveryourjoy.com/break-bad-habits/ https://uncoveryourjoy.com/break-bad-habits/#respond Tue, 02 Jun 2020 12:36:44 +0000 https://uncoveryourjoy.com/?p=2719 Feeling trapped by a bad habit? Struggling to break it no matter how many apps, techniques, and strategies you use? Breaking bad habits can definitely be an uphill battle. You’re forcing your brain to completely rewire an old pattern—and our brains honestly don’t want to do that! Our minds don’t like change, they like sticking […]

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Feeling trapped by a bad habit? Struggling to break it no matter how many apps, techniques, and strategies you use?

Breaking bad habits can definitely be an uphill battle. You’re forcing your brain to completely rewire an old pattern—and our brains honestly don’t want to do that! Our minds don’t like change, they like sticking with what works…even if “what works” isn’t all that great. 

Fortunately, there’s a way around this mental resistance. One little trick we can use to train our brains to release an old habit and replace it with something far more loving. Read on to discover what it is. <3

Why Bad Habits Stick

I’m sure you’ve noticed you can’t just will a bad habit out of existence. You have to try really really hard to resist the urge to act on it. You have to stay extra mindful of the times when you’re stressed, since that’s prime time to fall back into old habits. 

Why is breaking bad habits such a challenge? Because every single habit fulfills a certain emotional need. It might not do a great job at that—but it’s still why the habit exists. Your needs must be met in some way. These habits are a way of doing that.

For instance, an addiction might meet the need of escaping from emotional pain. 

A habit of angrily lashing out might meet the need of protecting yourself from being hurt in a relationship

The habit of procrastination might protect you from exhausting yourself with work. 

Every single habit, good or bad, does something that tries to help us. It’s either an emotional protector, something that keeps the status quo, or something that stops us from facing emotional harm. In the case of bad habits, they just happen to also cause emotional harm too. 

How close are you to thriving after abuse? Click here to take the quiz!

How to Being Breaking Bad Habits with this New Knowledge

Once you understand that all habits fulfill a need, it becomes much easier to break that habit. Because, well, you understand: you can’t just erase a habit. You need to form a new behavioral pattern to fulfill the same need that bad habit was trying to. 

So, that habit of angrily lashing out? You can replace it with healthy boundary setting skills

That addiction which helps you escape tough emotions? You can replace it with soothing self care

That procrastination? Breaking that bad habit happens when you find healthier ways to sustain your energy at work, or you stop overworking yourself. (You can also change what needs you have and that can stop a bad habit.)

Every bad habit is meeting some emotional need—so once you discover what that need is, you can replace it with a healthier habit. That’s the first step: understand what need the bad habit is meeting. 

(If you struggle with this, join The Prosperity Path program here! You’ll know exactly what your emotional needs are after you complete Module 4.)

Brainstorming the Right Replacement Habit

Take some time to reflect on what need your bad habit is fulfilling. What emotion does it soften? What way does it relax you? How is it trying to protect you? What belief does it maintain?

Make sure you don’t shame yourself for having this habit. This behavior was the easiest way your mind could meet that emotional need—and that’s not a bad thing! It’s natural adaptive behavior. 

You’re just deciding you want something different now. Something that meets that need, without any negative consequences. 

So, once you know the need your bad habit was fulfilling, list a few ideas of how that need could be met in a different way. What are some other ways you can prevent with fatigue at work? Cope with heavy emotions? Also consider if there are ways you could stop that need from existing—like cutting back on work hours to prevent fatigue. 

Create a list of at least ten ideas, as this will get you really brainstorming. Then, look back at that list and pick the easiest behavior to replace your bad habit with. It doesn’t need to be fantastic. Even something a little better is a great step towards healing! 

This is my challenge to you for today. Do this exercise about one habit you want to break—then pick a replacement habit. Aim to do this every time you feel the urge to act on your old habit. You’ll find it’s much easier to start breaking bad habits! 

Bonus if you leave a comment with what habit you’re breaking, and need that habit fulfills, and what you’re replacing the old habit with too. This is a great way to start the process of breaking bad habits.

How close are you to living a life you love? Take the quiz here!

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How to Reclaim Peace After a Friend Betrayed You https://uncoveryourjoy.com/peace-after-friend-betrayal/ https://uncoveryourjoy.com/peace-after-friend-betrayal/#respond Tue, 26 May 2020 12:51:46 +0000 https://uncoveryourjoy.com/?p=2720 Being betrayed by a friend is one of the most painful experiences we can have. Whether that’s them turning abusive, revealing a secret they promised to keep, or hurting us in some other way—it destroys the relationship we had with them.  And that’s painful. Betrayal cuts deeply into our hearts. Their betrayal also tells us […]

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Being betrayed by a friend is one of the most painful experiences we can have. Whether that’s them turning abusive, revealing a secret they promised to keep, or hurting us in some other way—it destroys the relationship we had with them. 

And that’s painful. Betrayal cuts deeply into our hearts.

Their betrayal also tells us what to think about ourselves and our worth, which can hurt more than the loss of the friendship. This can cause us to stay in a toxic friendship or it can damage our self-esteem

Being betrayed by a friend is no small thing. It’s traumatic, but fortunately this blog will help you heal it. 

Any Friend Betrayal is Serious

Even if a betrayal would be a “small” thing to someone else, if it hurts you, it counts. Anything where you feel a friend broke a boundary or promise counts as a betrayal. 

In my own life, I’ve faced a variety of betrayals from friends. One was a friend repeatedly bringing up triggering topics after I’d asked them not to. Another was someone suddenly believing I was dangerous because I shared my diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder with them. 

(Trigger warning for a brief mention of sexual abuse below)

But the biggest betrayal I experienced was when my best friend sexually assaulted me, right after I confided my memories of child abuse to her. This experience was one of the most jarring ones I had. It made me realize exactly how painful betrayals by friends can be.

This horrific betrayal made me realize one critical thing—something I need to heal from all past betrayals. I realized the message we hear and believe when someone betrays us.

The Message You Hear When a Friend Betrays You

Betrayal shares one very specific message: “My needs don’t matter to this person.” 

And this quickly translates into, “I don’t matter.” 

When someone betrays us, it sends a message to us that their needs or wants are more important than our own. It tells us they have a right to step on us for their own comfort and desires. 

This message can come directly from a friend or other close relationship or it can come from society as a whole. This is where we’re told “You’re a person that doesn’t matter in this world.” Bigotry and oppression are forms of this betrayal.

Of course, the message of “I don’t matter” is totally false. You matter and you deserve all of your needs to be respected! Unfortunately, some people simply won’t choose to respect you like you deserve.

You’ll overcome this in the very first module of The Prosperity Path program. If you feel past betrayals weigh you down, you’ll definitely want to check this eCourse out here.

How close are you to thriving after abuse? Click here to take the quiz!

How to Heal from Friend Betrayal

Here’s a simple journaling exercise to help you heal after a friend betrayed you.

First, write down how you were betrayed. What did your friend or partner do? How did society as a whole let you down? 

You may have experienced multiple betrayals in your life, so focus on just one here. You can also repeat this healing exercise with another betrayal afterwards. There’s no limit to how many times you can do this.

Next, write down how you should have been treated. Think super lovingly here! If you struggle to come up with an idea, consider how you’d want a loved one to be treated in this situation.

After this, write down the emotions you feel when you think about this betrayal. Then, for each emotion, write something loving and validating. Something that says “It’s okay that I’m experiencing this emotion.”

Validation is what heals you. Through this, you show yourself it’s safe to feel hurt about what happened. It changes the belief “I don’t matter” into “This person chose to hurt me, and that has nothing to do with my self-worth.”

If this feels a bit too challenging, remember you can access an in-depth guide to heal betrayal in The Prosperity Path program here! <3 

Completely Freeing Yourself from the Burden of Betrayal

Friend betrayal, or betrayal from any other source, naturally weighs us down. It’s not something that will resolve overnight, but with persistent effort we can find life-long freedom from the pain past betrayal caused. 

The Prosperity Path program is going to be your best friend for doing this. In the very first module, it’ll guide you through a deep understanding of the impact of betrayal, followed by a guided exercise to release it. You’ll master emotional validation—the most important skill you need to find freedom from past abuse.

This blog gets you started on healing betrayal, and this program will give you life-long freedom. <3 

No matter what, whether you choose to join or not, you can lessen the pain of friend betrayal.

Start first by leaving a comment below. What emotion do you feel thinking about a past betrayal? What is one validating thing you can tell yourself about that emotion? Do this quick exercise right below and you’ll be taking a huge step towards healing. 

Then, of course, share this blog on your favorite social media platform. If it helped you, it’s bound to help another survivor of abuse. <3

Discover how close you are to living a life you love (even after abuse) Click here to take the quiz!

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When to End a Friendship (& How to Do It Guilt-Free) https://uncoveryourjoy.com/when-to-end-a-friendship/ https://uncoveryourjoy.com/when-to-end-a-friendship/#respond Tue, 19 May 2020 13:03:48 +0000 https://uncoveryourjoy.com/?p=2721 Ever had a friendship that made you feel uncomfortable? Someone you stress about spending time with…but they aren’t actually abusive? How do you know when to end a friendship that’s unpleasant like this?  That’s the focus of this blog. I’ve talked lots about walking away from abusers in the past, but this situation is much […]

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Ever had a friendship that made you feel uncomfortable? Someone you stress about spending time with…but they aren’t actually abusive? How do you know when to end a friendship that’s unpleasant like this? 

That’s the focus of this blog. I’ve talked lots about walking away from abusers in the past, but this situation is much more nuanced. 

It’s about leaving someone who isn’t a bad or harmful person… we just don’t feel great in the friendship. Or someone who’s done a handful of problematic things, but not enough to make them a toxic friend. 

If you’ve ever questioned when to end a friendship like this, keep on reading.

What Does an Unpleasant, but Not Abusive, Friendship Look Like?

A little over a year ago, I parted ways with a long term friend. This person, who I’ll call M, was a great friend throughout my school years and we stayed in touch as adults too. She was funny, we’d often talk for hours on the phone, and I’d confided a lot in her. M was also good friends with my fiancée and our other mutual friend—so we were a fun group of four that did almost everything together. 

But, over the course of two years, some slightly uncomfortable things entered the friendship. She’d say vaguely transphobic things, like objectifying her trans girlfriend. (As a trans person myself, this made me quite uncomfortable). 

When I told her about one of our old mutual friends being my abuser, she nodded along with my story. Then, she updated me on the sport scores of her favorite team—not even referencing the trauma I just shared with her. The only times she’d discuss what I went through was to update me on what this abuser was up to in life, even after I asked her not to mention this person. Talk about a trigger

Every once in a while, she’d say something quite insensitive like “What happened to make you like this?” when talking about my dissociative identity disorder.

Over time, these situations added up and the friendship felt burdensome. She was no longer fun to hang out with. I kept expecting something hurtful to be said, some small boundary to be ignored, something to bug me each time we talked. 

It became tiring, even though M wasn’t abusive. She just wasn’t someone I wanted as a friend anymore. 

How close are you to thriving after abuse? Click here to take the quiz!

How to Know When to End a Friendship

You deserve amazing friends, not just okay ones. 

This was something I realized while questioning when to end my friendship with M. We’re never obligated to keep someone we don’t love by our side. Even if they aren’t a bad person, we can always walk away if they’re not the right person for us. 

This is so important to recognize. 

You likely know you don’t want toxic or abusive people in your life. You want people who are nice, genuine, and good friends and partners. 

But…many of us survivors still settle for okay relationships, because they are so much better than what we once had with our abusers. So we think, “This is great!” when it’s really just alright

Let this blog remind you not to settle for okay. If someone is draining you emotionally, even if they’re not a harmful person, you have every right to walk away. In fact, you should walk away. 

You have enough to fight with every day, like memories of trauma and PTSD symptoms. Why exhaust yourself more with a less-than-fulfilling friendship? 

If you’re regularly dreading spending time with a friend, or you find yourself frustrated or hurt after speaking with them, walk away. 

How to Leave a Less-Than-Ideal Friendship

You have to leave burdensome friendships to really live a life of joy. (That’s necessary to walk your Prosperity Path!)

So, ask yourself this: Who do I really want by my side? Is this friend that person? Does this friend bring something beautiful to my life, or do they take away from some beauty/joy I have?

Obviously, no friend will be perfect. There will be ups and downs, momentary problems that come up. But if you struggle to feel loving towards a person and you regularly experience frustration or fatigue at the idea of your friendship, it’s time to walk away. 

This is how you know when to end a friendship. When you honestly ask yourself these questions, you’ll have your answer. 

Feel free to leave a comment sharing a time you left a friendship that wasn’t great, and how much better that decision made your life. Or, if you’re struggling, post about your situation and myself and other survivors can help you through it! <3 

Then, of course, share this blog. Everyone needs to know it’s okay to leave a less-than-ideal friendship. 

How close are you to joy? Take this quiz to discover the stage of the prosperity path you're in.

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