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How to Ensure You Only Have Healthy Relationships

You deserve absolutely healthy relationships. People who treasure you just as you are, without asking you to change or be “easier to handle.” Individuals who love you, despite the wounds you carry from past abuse.

I’ve cut out so many toxic people from my life over the past year. I’ve stood up to manipulation, disrespect, and just refused to tolerate anything less than healthy relationships. I had survived enough abuse. It was time I fought unconditionally to have only the best people in my life.

It can be difficult for us survivors to assert ourselves in our relationships. We’re used to letting things slide. Possibly because we had to in the past, just to survive, or because we’re willing to settle for an even slightly better love. When we had little love in the past, any love (even that from not-so-great people) feels good.

But you deserve better. You deserve true and unconditional love. And this is how you get it.

In this episode, I’ll talk about how to empower yourself to walk away from the people who hurt you. I’ll share why it’s so important to do—especially if you want kinder people to come into your life.

Boundaries are scary, but this episode will help take some of that fear away too. I’ll talk truthfully about how they impact our life and how I’ve found real and unconditionally loving relationships through them.

Make loving friends by watching How to Make Friends that Really Love You!

When you cut out toxic people, you make room for healthy relationships. That’s how life works—it’s honestly as simple as that! It’s time to step forward and assert your needs, set boundaries, and commit to keeping only the most loving people in your life.

If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love to hear from you!

Is there a relationship you need to leave? If so, how will you start walking away?

If all your relationships are wonderful, can you share an experience you had walking away from someone toxic?

And, before you go, please share this blog with at least one other person. I can’t reach more survivors without your help and—with such limited personal development out there for us—it’s really important that we band together. So if you know someone who is struggling to walk away from an unhealthy relationship, please give them a link to this video.

Give yourself permission to chase after true and unconditional love. You do deserve the most respectful relationships. You’re not obligated to keep people who hurt you in your life, so go ahead and walk away. It will make room for new, joyous, and healthy relationships. 

How close are you to living a life you love? Take the quiz here!

You’ll also find healing with…


  1. Julia Grundling

    thanks for this. it is difficult, but necessary. i made the bold move to cut 95% of people out of my life … i had to … otherwise i will never heal …

    • Arien Smith

      Oh gosh, congrats on making such a difficult but healing move in life! That sounds so powerful, and I truly believe it will help you heal.

  2. Lisa Jane

    Removing toxic people and then setting boundaries so that no more can enter my life has been vital for me. Now comes a new challenge of navigating the new territory of healthy relationships. With no reference point to work from, I feel awkward and lost – I don’t recognise healthy and I feel like don’t know how to be or experience healthy relationships because it is such a foreign feeling. I feel clumsy and not having anything familiar feelings navigating on the healthy zone kind of makes me anxious.

    • Arien Smith

      Gosh yes, boundaries are so important! Not recognizing what makes a healthy relationship is a HUGE challenge for us survivors, but it’s totally possible to figure out. Perhaps try writing down what you know are healthy traits and what aren’t–as if you’re plotting data points. I bet that will help you feel a bit more steady in this new territory! If you want to chat more, I’d love to help you here, too.


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