It's because of the abuse you faced that you have low self-esteem. It's not because of anything you did or who you are. But it feels like those two things are the reason right? Like there is something wrong with, well, you…? That's because your abuser deliberately created a belief that you deserve to be hurt. They told you literally through words or their actions that you weren't worth anything. That your role was to be hurt by...
Wish you could actually believe in yourself? That you could walk this world with an empowered mindset? Well, these 25 affirmations may be the perfect answer for you…as long as you know how to properly use them! Far too many people believe that affirmations are just something you say and then you start to believe it. That'd be awesome and they'd be super powerful if that was the case, but it's simply not like that. Affirmations are a...
I’m going to be frank. Self-hatred sucks. It's probably the biggest burden that all survivors of abuse live with. And I bet you are plagued by it too. Self-hatred is not only exhausting…it also limits the love we have in our relationships. It makes us feel like a failure anytime we have a simple mistake. It's so unfair that your abuser made you live with self hatred. (After all, this emotion was really a tool that they used...
“How to love yourself”—yep, this might not sound like all that original of a blog from the start. But I want to show you something super important, and I’ve only ever seen one other personal development leader talk about it. Loving ourselves is an art that becomes much trickier after surviving abuse. I also think, though, that it gives us an advantage in some ways. Because our abusers created such deep shame and self-hatred, we have to...
Are you tired of hating yourself every time you make a mistake? It’s exhausting to feel worthless and hear self-deprecating thoughts. You don’t deserve it—you deserve to be forgiving yourself always and forever. Mistakes happen to every single human being. You’re trying your best, but sometimes you don’t have the insights or energy to do something perfectly. And that sometimes leads to a slip up. It’s rational to feel a bit bad about this. Guilt, honestly,...
How do you improve yourself after going through so much hardship? What does it even mean to be a better person, especially after surviving abuse? Trauma impacts us. It causes us to place judgements on others. We’ve become slow to trust. And when we think of being the best person we can be—it’s often nonjudgemental and believing everyone has pure intentions. That’s not how we came to see the world, though. After abuse, we saw the...
Are you ruled by self-hatred immediately after noticing some flaw? It’s natural for us survivors of abuse to notice our imperfections the most—since our abusers trained us to do this. But, I’ve gotta say, this is not fun (and that’s an understatement). I’m here to remind you that you are so much more than your imperfections. In fact, I don’t even think these traits are flaws. There were times in your trauma where your abuser has...
I don’t think there is anything that plagues us survivors more than the question, “Am I enough?” Our abusers, day after day, told us something was wrong with us. That we were bad and unworthy. That our purpose in this world was to be hurt. Your abuser kept their control over you by convincing you that you deserved to be hurt. And they did this by making you think something was wrong with you—without ever...
Reclaiming a self loving perspective after abuse is one of the greatest challenges us survivors face. Our abusers made us hate ourselves. That’s how they kept control over us. But now that you’re free from them, you can start to reclaim self compassion. Although having a self loving view of yourself can sound incredibly challenging, it truly isn’t out of reach. Even though your abuser worked for months or years to convince you to hate...
Feeling like a burden is normal when we’re disabled survivors of abuse. People tend to make huge issues about the accommodations we need. They shame us for still “holding on to our past.” And so so much more. This is all unfair. It’s ableism. But it doesn’t stop us from feeling like a burden—even when we know that society’s idea of us is wrong. Life after abuse is difficult and it has left us with valid...