Knowing how to love yourself after abuse can feel like a total mystery. There are plenty of articles saying what it’s like to have self-love and what we’re supposed to do to get it. But I’ve yet to find one actually sharing what the real journey towards self love looks like. That’s what this blog is for. There are steps to go through before we actually get to life-long self love. We also need to understand what self...
We can’t travel back in time and change our past…and this can cause a lot of despair. Difficult emotions may rage through you—scaring you and making it hard to find even one ounce of self acceptance. I get it. I truly, honestly do. Loving ourselves in any capacity after abuse is hard—especially since that requires us to accept ourselves. That means accepting what happened to us and how it affects us today, including the tough emotions and...
It's because of the abuse you faced that you have low self-esteem. It's not because of anything you did or who you are. But it feels like those two things are the reason right? Like there is something wrong with, well, you…? That's because your abuser deliberately created a belief that you deserve to be hurt. They told you literally through words or their actions that you weren't worth anything. That your role was to be hurt by...
Wish you could actually believe in yourself? That you could walk this world with an empowered mindset? Well, these 25 affirmations may be the perfect answer for you…as long as you know how to properly use them! Far too many people believe that affirmations are just something you say and then you start to believe it. That'd be awesome and they'd be super powerful if that was the case, but it's simply not like that. Affirmations are a...
I’m going to be frank. Self-hatred sucks. It's probably the biggest burden that all survivors of abuse live with. And I bet you are plagued by it too. Self-hatred is not only exhausting…it also limits the love we have in our relationships. It makes us feel like a failure anytime we have a simple mistake. It's so unfair that your abuser made you live with self hatred. (After all, this emotion was really a tool that they used...
“How to love yourself”—yep, this might not sound like all that original of a blog from the start. But I want to show you something super important, and I’ve only ever seen one other personal development leader talk about it. Loving ourselves is an art that becomes much trickier after surviving abuse. I also think, though, that it gives us an advantage in some ways. Because our abusers created such deep shame and self-hatred, we have to...
Are you tired of hating yourself every time you make a mistake? It’s exhausting to feel worthless and hear self-deprecating thoughts. You don’t deserve it—you deserve to be forgiving yourself always and forever. Mistakes happen to every single human being. You’re trying your best, but sometimes you don’t have the insights or energy to do something perfectly. And that sometimes leads to a slip up. It’s rational to feel a bit bad about this. Guilt, honestly,...
How do you improve yourself after going through so much hardship? What does it even mean to be a better person, especially after surviving abuse? Trauma impacts us. It causes us to place judgements on others. We’ve become slow to trust. And when we think of being the best person we can be—it’s often nonjudgemental and believing everyone has pure intentions. That’s not how we came to see the world, though. After abuse, we saw the...
Are you ruled by self-hatred immediately after noticing some flaw? It’s natural for us survivors of abuse to notice our imperfections the most—since our abusers trained us to do this. But, I’ve gotta say, this is not fun (and that’s an understatement). I’m here to remind you that you are so much more than your imperfections. In fact, I don’t even think these traits are flaws. There were times in your trauma where your abuser has...
I don’t think there is anything that plagues us survivors more than the question, “Am I enough?” Our abusers, day after day, told us something was wrong with us. That we were bad and unworthy. That our purpose in this world was to be hurt. Your abuser kept their control over you by convincing you that you deserved to be hurt. And they did this by making you think something was wrong with you—without ever...