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How to Love Yourself: The Actual Way Most Self-Help People Ignore

06.2.2019
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Healing from Abuse, Self Love

“How to love yourself”—yep, this might not sound like all that original of a blog from the start. But I want to show you something super important, and I’ve only ever seen one other personal development leader talk about it.  Loving ourselves is an art that becomes much trickier after surviving abuse. I also think, though, that it gives us an advantage in some ways.  Because our abusers created such deep shame and self-hatred, we have to...

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Forgiving Yourself, No Matter the Mistakes You Make thumbnail

Forgiving Yourself, No Matter the Mistakes You Make

29.8.2018
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Healing from Abuse, Self Love

Are you tired of hating yourself every time you make a mistake? It’s exhausting to feel worthless and hear self-deprecating thoughts. You don’t deserve it—you deserve to be forgiving yourself always and forever. Mistakes happen to every single human being. You’re trying your best, but sometimes you don’t have the insights or energy to do something perfectly. And that sometimes leads to a slip up. It’s rational to feel a bit bad about this. Guilt, honestly,...

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The True Meaning of “Being a Better Person” thumbnail

The True Meaning of “Being a Better Person”

08.8.2018
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Breaking Down Stigma, Relationships, Self Love

How do you improve yourself after going through so much hardship? What does it even mean to be a better person, especially after surviving abuse? Trauma impacts us. It causes us to place judgements on others. We’ve become slow to trust. And when we think of being the best person we can be—it’s often nonjudgemental and believing everyone has pure intentions. That’s not how we came to see the world, though. After abuse, we saw the...

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How to Genuinely Love Your Imperfections

01.8.2018
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Body Positivity, Self Love

Are you ruled by self-hatred immediately after noticing some flaw? It’s natural for us survivors of abuse to notice our imperfections the most—since our abusers trained us to do this. But, I’ve gotta say, this is not fun (and that’s an understatement). I’m here to remind you that you are so much more than your imperfections. In fact, I don’t even think these traits are flaws. There were times in your trauma where your abuser has...

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“Am I Enough?” Yes! And Here’s How to Believe It blog

“Am I Enough?” Yes! And Here’s How to Believe It

27.6.2018
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Empowerment, Healing from Abuse, Self Love

I don’t think there is anything that plagues us survivors more than the question, “Am I enough?” Our abusers, day after day, told us something was wrong with us. That we were bad and unworthy. That our purpose in this world was to be hurt. Your abuser kept their control over you by convincing you that you deserved to be hurt. And they did this by making you think something was wrong with you—without ever...

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The Self Loving Antidote to Hating Who You Are

The Self Loving Antidote to Hating Who You Are

20.6.2018
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Empowerment, Healing from Abuse, Self Love

Reclaiming a self loving perspective after abuse is one of the greatest challenges us survivors face. Our abusers made us hate ourselves. That’s how they kept control over us. But now that you’re free from them, you can start to reclaim self compassion. Although having a self loving view of yourself can sound incredibly challenging, it truly isn’t out of reach. Even though your abuser worked for months or years to convince you to hate...

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How to stop feeling like a burden after abuse

How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden After Abuse

30.5.2018
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Breaking Down Stigma, Healing from Abuse, Self Love

Feeling like a burden is normal when we’re disabled survivors of abuse. People tend to make huge issues about the accommodations we need. They shame us for still “holding on to our past.” And so so much more. This is all unfair. It’s ableism. But it doesn’t stop us from feeling like a burden—even when we know that society’s idea of us is wrong. Life after abuse is difficult and it has left us with valid...

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Conquer guilt and shame after abuse

Conquer Guilt and Shame After Abuse

14.3.2018
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Healing from Abuse, Overcoming Hardship and Trauma, Self Love

Have you ever been hanging out with friends and your mind says, “why do they even want to spend time with me?” Or doubted that you’re worthy of love? This is all due to guilt and shame, the kind that hurts and harms us survivors nearly every day. How do you overcome guilt and shame? How do you see yourself in a loving light? First, you have to understand what they are. Guilt and shame are...

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How to ensure you only have healthy relationships

How to Ensure You Only Have Healthy Relationships

14.2.2018
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Relationships, Self Love

You deserve absolutely healthy relationships. People who treasure you just as you are, without asking you to change or be “easier to handle.” Individuals who love you, despite the wounds you carry from past abuse. I’ve cut out so many toxic people from my life over the past year. I’ve stood up to manipulation, disrespect, and just refused to tolerate anything less than healthy relationships. I had survived enough abuse. It was time I fought...

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Overcome Feeling Like a Failure with This Loving Process

Overcome Feeling Like a Failure with This Loving Process

20.12.2017
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Breaking Down Stigma, Dreams and Goals, Self Love

You ultimately get to decide what you believe and reject. And, with this power, you can free yourself from the pain of feeling like a failure. You can redefine success. You can honor all your accomplishments. Someone once told us what success and failure meant. It may have been our parents, trying to coach us on our career. It could have been advertisements or societal stigmas. Whatever the cause, we learned what “failure” and “success” meant...

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