Feeling like a burden is normal when we’re disabled survivors of abuse. People tend to make huge issues about the accommodations we need. They shame us for still “holding on to our past.” And so so much more. This is all unfair. It’s ableism. But it doesn’t stop us from feeling like a burden—even when we know that society’s idea of us is wrong. Life after abuse is difficult and it has left us with valid...
Have you ever been hanging out with friends and your mind says, “why do they even want to spend time with me?” Or doubted that you’re worthy of love? This is all due to guilt and shame, the kind that hurts and harms us survivors nearly every day. How do you overcome guilt and shame? How do you see yourself in a loving light? First, you have to understand what they are. Guilt and shame are...
You deserve absolutely healthy relationships. People who treasure you just as you are, without asking you to change or be “easier to handle.” Individuals who love you, despite the wounds you carry from past abuse. I’ve cut out so many toxic people from my life over the past year. I’ve stood up to manipulation, disrespect, and just refused to tolerate anything less than healthy relationships. I had survived enough abuse. It was time I fought...
You ultimately get to decide what you believe and reject. And, with this power, you can free yourself from the pain of feeling like a failure. You can redefine success. You can honor all your accomplishments. Someone once told us what success and failure meant. It may have been our parents, trying to coach us on our career. It could have been advertisements or societal stigmas. Whatever the cause, we learned what “failure” and “success” meant...
You deserve to enter this New Year with pride. With joy for who you are and all you have accomplished over the past year. This compassion and optimism comes with a beautiful form of self reflection, one that inspires your journey. Self reflection, if done in a critical way, can make us feel bad about ourselves. The last thing you want is to enter this new year feeling down about the past 12 months. You...
Self worth is a serious battle for many of us living with mental illness. We reject good things when they happen. We put ourselves down even when complimented. Maybe we even take senseless risks because we simply don’t care enough about ourselves to avoid danger. All of these manifestations of low self worth are common. You’re not alone in this struggle. And you will not be stuck with it forever. One of the most painful...
Do you feel like a bad person for holding sadness, anger, or shame? Like there is something wrong with you when you feel them? When you reject these emotions, you reject yourself. Your authenticity. Your Truth. You hold the most divine love just out of reach, simply by pushing away these feelings. When you pull them close and give them an inner hug, this compassion will come flooding back. It’s through radical acceptance that we...
Is it wrong to walk away from someone you care about? Even if you know it’s the right thing to do, how do you leave the relationship without feeling horribly guilty? Walking away from someone you love, and someone who still loves you back, is not an easy thing to do. But, it can be a crucial step towards the life you’ve dreamed of living. Walking away from someone you love is not an immoral...
Failure is a natural and beautiful part of reaching our goals. It arises when we take the risks necessary to expand our lives, ourselves, and our world. This is why a fear of failure can significantly hold us back. It can keep us bound to a past we no longer want to be a part of. The fear of failure is so common because we see our shortcomings as a negative reflection on ourselves. We say...
Feeling stressed when you think of self care? Like you’re not able to do everything you “should,” that you’re falling behind? Well, isn’t that kind of backwards? Self care should be about truly honoring our needs and it should come from a place of love and self respect, not obligation or pressure from society. When we treat self care like something we’re obligated to do, we set ourselves up for feeling bad if we can’t...