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Sabotaging relationships? This is How to Find Peace in Love

Sabotaging relationships? This is How to Find Peace in Love

Do you ever start to love someone too much, then get scared and push them away? Sabotaging relationships like this is super common for us survivors. And, unfortunately, we end up losing some of our closest relationships because of this. Why do we push away love—something we want so much? Because abuse made love scary. Uncertain. All you’re trying to do is protect yourself from more pain. And the way we do this is through...

Everything You Need to Know About Boundaries in Relationships

Everything You Need to Know About Boundaries in Relationships

Boundaries in relationships are notoriously difficult for us survivors of abuse. What if setting a boundary ruins our relationship? What is the difference between a boundary and just a desire…a want? Because of past abuse, setting boundaries in relationships seems unsafe and intimidating. After all, sometimes our abusers hurt us more when we tried to set a boundary. When you have strong boundaries, you will find deep emotional connections, safe relationships, and empowered empathy with others....

Here's how to stop seeking approval from others

Here’s How to Stop Seeking Approval From Others

This is your life—not anyone else’s. You’re the one meant to make empowered decisions about your dreams and your future. And yet, are you constantly seeking approval from others? It’s so incredibly common for us survivors of abuse to wait on an “okay” from someone else. To constantly be seeking approval, even when we’re fully capable of making these decisions for ourselves. This isn’t anything to be ashamed of. This all came from a simple pattern...

Afraid of relationship conflict here's how to overcome it

Afraid of Relationship Conflict? Here’s How to Overcome It

Do you sprint away from conflict? When even the slightest disagreement happens, do you feel unworthy of that relationship? Maybe you criticize yourself or have a petrifying fear of relationship conflict? Whatever it is, it’s detrimental to your relationships. All relationships (even the most healthy relationships ever) have conflicts. It’s natural when two people interact. Yet, us survivors of abuse often fear it. And for good reason! In the past, conflict could have been very threatening....

How to ensure you only have healthy relationships

How to Ensure You Only Have Healthy Relationships

You deserve absolutely healthy relationships. People who treasure you just as you are, without asking you to change or be “easier to handle.” Individuals who love you, despite the wounds you carry from past abuse. I’ve cut out so many toxic people from my life over the past year. I’ve stood up to manipulation, disrespect, and just refused to tolerate anything less than healthy relationships. I had survived enough abuse. It was time I fought...

Pushing People Away? Here’s How to Stop Rejecting Love

Rejecting love is normal for us survivors of abuse. We were once told that we were unlovable, that we deserved to be hurt, or that we weren’t worth anything. Now, when we’re handed truly unconditional love, we push it away. It’s normal to do this, but that doesn’t make it pain free. Something in your past caused love to seem scary. And today, that cycle of fear repeats—pushing love even farther out of reach. I’ve feared...

When Walking Away from Someone You Love is Healing

Is it wrong to walk away from someone you care about? Even if you know it’s the right thing to do, how do you leave the relationship without feeling horribly guilty? Walking away from someone you love, and someone who still loves you back, is not an easy thing to do. But, it can be a crucial step towards the life you’ve dreamed of living. Walking away from someone you love is not an immoral...

Embrace Love Despite a Fear of Abandonment

Are you so afraid of being left alone that you cling to your loved ones? Or perhaps you push them away when the relationship gets too close. Both of these stem from a really common thing: a fear of abandonment. It can be frightening to live with and, with social connections so crucial for our wellbeing, a fear of abandonment can take it’s toll on us. Fortunately, despite how common this fear is, every single one...

How to make friends that really love you

How to Make Friends that Really Love You

Feel like it’s impossible to make friends that treat you well? Partners that respect you as a person? Maybe you find yourself always in relationships that end up turning out poorly. How to make friends that truly love us can feel elusive when we have a mental illness. It’s possible, though, and sometimes our loneliness is the gateway to these loving friendships. I used to think loneliness was a sign I was doing something wrong. That...

7 Strategies to Become a Good Listener

Misunderstandings are stressful. Feeling like a less-than-great friend is no fun either. If you struggle with either of these, this episode will help empower you to overcome them. Fixing this is all possible when you learn to be a good listener. We’ll often hear we have to empathize and conceal our own problems in order to be a good friend. For those of us living with mental illness, this can be a challenge. Whether you’re having...

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