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How to be Unconditionally Empathetic

How to be Unconditionally Empathetic

With so many resources out there on empathy…why do we still struggle to be empathetic (both personally and as a society)?  It’s all because we’re missing the first step—turning acceptance and understanding towards ourselves. If we deny ourselves empathy, we deny the world it too.  I learned this technique in a really wacky, unconventional way, but it’s one of the most critical on my road to recovery. Without it, I don’t think I could cope with the...

How to Ensure Space in a Relationship Doesn’t Destroy You

How to Ensure Space in a Relationship Doesn’t Destroy You

It can be a terrifying thing when someone says “I need space.” We start wondering if we did something wrong. Are they going to leave us? Are we unwanted? Space in a relationship is vulnerable for us survivors of abuse—but it is possible to reclaim it as a healthy thing. Every individual person has their own needs and sometimes that includes alone time. Often, when a need for space crops up, it’s completely unrelated to...

Codependent Relationships: How to Avoid, Heal, and Prevent Them

Codependency has become a dirty word. It casts shame on a person, leaving them with the stigma of being “needy” or “draining” or “burdensome.” Being codependent, or being in a codependent relationship, does not make anyone a bad person. It’s true that codependency can be dysfunctional, but that doesn’t make the people in the relationship bad. Yet, if you find yourself being codependent, it can do a lot of harm to your life. It can push...

How to Make Letting Go of Someone (Like an Abuser) Easier

Letting go of someone means no longer feeling like they control your life. It means not spending every day wishing you could go back to them or believing what they did to you will limit your future forevermore. Letting go of someone, especially an abuser, is about more than just walking away. You have to start to separate from their lingering control of your life. This makes it easier to handle them no longer being...

Find Safe and Compassionate Love After Abuse

“Love after abuse.” It’s something every survivor wants and yet it also feels the farthest out of reach. How will someone come to love us with this ‘baggage?’ How do we build a relationship with someone who is actually good for us? These question are painful because, truthfully, these are blocking our way towards love. There will be people who will discard us as survivors. (As immoral and icky as that is.) Others may treat...

The True Meaning of “Being a Better Person” thumbnail

The True Meaning of “Being a Better Person”

How do you improve yourself after going through so much hardship? What does it even mean to be a better person, especially after surviving abuse? Trauma impacts us. It causes us to place judgements on others. We’ve become slow to trust. And when we think of being the best person we can be—it’s often nonjudgemental and believing everyone has pure intentions. That’s not how we came to see the world, though. After abuse, we saw the...

How to Avoid and Escape Toxic Relationships

How to Avoid and Escape Toxic Relationships

Always finding yourself in toxic relationships? Almost like you’re a magnet for abusers? It’s never your fault that ill-intentioned people come into your life, but there are ways you can empower yourself to get out of and prevent these relationships. You just have to understand why your mind keeps making you trust those not-so-nice people. And why, when you do stumble upon someone truly loving, you feel terrified to get close. You’re not alone in...

Sabotaging relationships? This is How to Find Peace in Love

Sabotaging relationships? This is How to Find Peace in Love

Do you ever start to love someone too much, then get scared and push them away? Sabotaging relationships like this is super common for us survivors. And, unfortunately, we end up losing some of our closest relationships because of this. Why do we push away love—something we want so much? Because abuse made love scary. Uncertain. All you’re trying to do is protect yourself from more pain. And the way we do this is through...

Everything You Need to Know About Boundaries in Relationships

Everything You Need to Know About Boundaries in Relationships

Boundaries in relationships are notoriously difficult for us survivors of abuse. What if setting a boundary ruins our relationship? What is the difference between a boundary and just a desire…a want? Because of past abuse, setting boundaries in relationships seems unsafe and intimidating. After all, sometimes our abusers hurt us more when we tried to set a boundary. When you have strong boundaries, you will find deep emotional connections, safe relationships, and empowered empathy with others....

Here's how to stop seeking approval from others

Here’s How to Stop Seeking Approval From Others

This is your life—not anyone else’s. You’re the one meant to make empowered decisions about your dreams and your future. And yet, are you constantly seeking approval from others? It’s so incredibly common for us survivors of abuse to wait on an “okay” from someone else. To constantly be seeking approval, even when we’re fully capable of making these decisions for ourselves. This isn’t anything to be ashamed of. This all came from a simple pattern...

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