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How to Feel Safe in the World After Abuse

Abuse strips us of the ability to feel safe in this world. We were shown the darkest sides of humanity, often at the hands of someone that we trusted. They told us, through their actions, that the world is not often a kind place. This is the toughest part of surviving abuse. To have our view of the world be marked with the constant thought of “I’m not safe here.” And, when we’re constantly on...

How to Make Letting Go of Someone (Like an Abuser) Easier

Letting go of someone means no longer feeling like they control your life. It means not spending every day wishing you could go back to them or believing what they did to you will limit your future forevermore. Letting go of someone, especially an abuser, is about more than just walking away. You have to start to separate from their lingering control of your life. This makes it easier to handle them no longer being...

The 8 Growth Mindsets You Need to Thrive After Abuse thumbnail

The 8 Growth Mindsets You Need to Thrive After Abuse

“Switch to a growth mindset.” That’s a popular thing you hear in the personal development field, isn’t it? At it’s core, the concept is beautiful. It challenges us to keep improving ourselves and our lives, in turn transforming the world around us. But for us survivors of abuse, it’s a more nuanced idea. Most “growth mindsets” are about no longer feeling emotional pain, or deciding to feel abundant and in love with life. And that’s super invalidating....

Distress Tolerance: The Most Important Skill You’ll Ever Learn

Distress tolerance is the most valuable skill you can learn. There’s nothing more capable of helping you survive the painful parts of abuse recovery. It will stabilize you like nothing else. It will transform your life. I had a major crisis happen a couple weeks ago where a huge amount of insights into childhood trauma came up. If this happened a few years ago, I would have felt suicidal. But I was fine while facing it. It...

What you need to know about healthy habits and trauma recovery

What You Need to Know About Healthy Habits & Trauma Recovery

When you are going through a tough time, you have less energy. The healthy habits you’ve spent weeks, months, maybe even years forming sometimes fall apart in front of you. And this can cause despair and guilt and shame. But, this is normal. It’s okay to break new and good habits during tough times. Healthy habits aren’t a once and done thing. Trauma recovery is exhausting—and sometimes we go back to our defaults. Healing from abuse...

This is How You Embrace Life After Abuse

This is How You Embrace Life After Abuse

How do you embrace life after abuse? How can you feel joyous, living with the after effects of such horrible trauma? Embracing life isn’t about having a perfect life. It’s about finding joy and happiness and love even in the midst of hardship—something that us survivors of abuse have faced plenty of. Despite the unique struggles we have all faced, there are some key things that create a foundation from which joy can grow. The first...

4 Life changing reasons to accept your PTSD diagnosis

4 Life-Changing Reasons to Accept Your PTSD Diagnosis

Feeling boxed in by your new PTSD diagnosis? Are you struggling to accept that you officially have a disorder? It is intense to receive this news! I definitely get it. I was absolutely shocked when I was first diagnosed with PTSD and dissociative identity disorder. We all know we’ve gone through trauma, but hearing a professional officially state it makes it far more real. And much more difficult to accept. I’m a big believer that...

It's healing to accept Your Life is Unfair

It’s Healing to Accept Your Life is Unfair

You were completely innocent. You did not deserve the abuse, you did not deserve the pain that you now hold. Your life is unfair—at least, it feels that way. And this is valid. Abuse wasn’t some positive life lesson you were destined to experience. But, when your life is unfair, how do you reclaim happiness anyways? How do you find joy after abuse? It’s through powerful validation and acceptance. When you hear that it’s okay...

Sabotaging relationships? This is How to Find Peace in Love

Sabotaging Relationships? This is How to Find Peace in Love

Do you ever start to love someone too much, then get scared and push them away? Sabotaging relationships like this is super common for us survivors. And, unfortunately, we end up losing some of our closest relationships because of this. Why do we push away love—something we want so much? Because abuse made love scary. Uncertain. All you’re trying to do is protect yourself from more pain. And the way we do this is through...

Overcome a Lack of Motivation to Recover

Overcome a Lack of Motivation to Recover

Recovery is hard. Trauma is a daily battle for us survivors of abuse. Each fight is not an easy one. It’s completely natural to have a lack of motivation. In fact, as Mike Bundrant of the iNLP Center states, it's common for just about everyone to lack motivation at one point or another. You’ve fought hard. You have stood your ground in every battle and you’ve come out victorious. You’re still here and that’s what...

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