How do you embrace life after abuse? How can you feel joyous, living with the after effects of such horrible trauma? Embracing life isn’t about having a perfect life. It’s about finding joy and happiness and love even in the midst of hardship—something that us survivors of abuse have faced plenty of. Despite the unique struggles we have all faced, there are some key things that create a foundation from which joy can grow. The first...
Feeling boxed in by your new PTSD diagnosis? Are you struggling to accept that you officially have a disorder? It is intense to receive this news! I definitely get it. I was absolutely shocked when I was first diagnosed with PTSD and dissociative identity disorder. We all know we’ve gone through trauma, but hearing a professional officially state it makes it far more real. And much more difficult to accept. I’m a big believer that...
You were completely innocent. You did not deserve the abuse, you did not deserve the pain that you now hold. Your life is unfair—at least, it feels that way. And this is valid. Abuse wasn’t some positive life lesson you were destined to experience. But, when your life is unfair, how do you reclaim happiness anyways? How do you find joy after abuse? It’s through powerful validation and acceptance. When you hear that it’s okay...
Do you ever start to love someone too much, then get scared and push them away? Sabotaging relationships like this is super common for us survivors. And, unfortunately, we end up losing some of our closest relationships because of this. Why do we push away love—something we want so much? Because abuse made love scary. Uncertain. All you’re trying to do is protect yourself from more pain. And the way we do this is through...
Recovery is hard. Trauma is a daily battle for us survivors of abuse. Each fight is not an easy one. It’s completely natural to have a lack of motivation. In fact, as Mike Bundrant of the iNLP Center states, it's common for just about everyone to lack motivation at one point or another. You’ve fought hard. You have stood your ground in every battle and you’ve come out victorious. You’re still here and that’s what truly matters. But...
This is your life—not anyone else’s. You’re the one meant to make empowered decisions about your dreams and your future. And yet, are you constantly seeking approval from others? It’s so incredibly common for us survivors of abuse to wait on an “okay” from someone else. To constantly be seeking approval, even when we’re fully capable of making these decisions for ourselves. This isn’t anything to be ashamed of. This all came from a simple pattern...
You are not taking a step back in your recovery when PTSD comes back. When memories of abuse resurface. Truthfully, you can always improve your mental health even in the midst of the tough emotions of trauma recovery. The work you have been doing is still in play, even when it feels like you fell backwards. You’re always moving forwards—a part of moving forwards is letting your past come up so it can be healed....
You are so strong, whether you are happy or traumatized. Your emotional strength is unshakeable. You’ve survived so much and, even though this recovery is hard, I know you can survive it too. This entire video is a message about your infinite strength. It’s to inspire and uplift you, especially when you’re feeling weak or broken down. Emotional strength is not something that is only sometimes present. It isn’t defined by being able to force...
Have you ever been hanging out with friends and your mind says, “why do they even want to spend time with me?” Or doubted that you’re worthy of love? This is all due to guilt and shame, the kind that hurts and harms us survivors nearly every day. How do you overcome guilt and shame? How do you see yourself in a loving light? First, you have to understand what they are. Guilt and shame are...
Your trauma impacted you, but it does not shape your entire life. You can still live your dreams—even if it feels like it seriously damaged you. You are stronger than ever. This empowering quote from Maya Angelou proves that. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can choose not to be reduced by them.” We didn’t control our abusers. They hurt us and we couldn’t stop them. We felt powerless—we possibly...