Inner peace is possible for you, and every other survivor of abuse, to find. It comes with one simple thing: building a home within yourself. Obviously, I’m not talking about a literal home. But rather, a safe place where you can feel and process all emotions. Where you exist authentically and can choose how to share your true self with the world. It’s by understanding that emotions are safe to feel and that you are...
Rejecting love is normal for us survivors of abuse. We were once told that we were unlovable, that we deserved to be hurt, or that we weren’t worth anything. Now, when we’re handed truly unconditional love, we push it away. It’s normal to do this, but that doesn’t make it pain free. Something in your past caused love to seem scary. And today, that cycle of fear repeats—pushing love even farther out of reach. I’ve feared...
Happiness is an awesome emotion. It’s enjoyable to feel and easy to embrace—it’s something we truly want a lot of in our lives! Despite it’s general awesomeness, it’s completely irrational to expect to have this feeling 24/7. For this reason, pursuing happiness as our main goal is not the smartest thing for any of us to do. I don’t want to discount how wonderful happiness is. It’s important to seek out and to strive for greater...
We are told to curse our anger, to push away our fear. We’re told that these are harmful emotions to experience, that they signal something is wrong with us. Sometimes, the same voices that tell us to unconditionally love ourselves tell us to damn our difficult emotions. This isn’t real self compassion. Self compassion is loving every bit of ourselves. It’s when we embrace our most critical voice, thank anger for protecting us and sadness...
Life offers us amazing experiences. And yet, despite all the beauty around us, so many of us numb ourselves from it. We protect ourselves from our pain when we do this, but we also make it harder to live life to the fullest. So how do we balance this? How do we feel deeply and vividly without overwhelming ourselves with pain? Emotional numbness and dissociation are protective mechanisms. They’re intentionally shielding us from pains in the past...
Joy is like a sun shower. It’s complex. It’s when a storm and bright sunlight coexist. Emotionally, joy comes from a deep sense of fulfillment and purpose and aliveness. Just like the clap of thunder at the same time the sun is shining in your eyes. Because of this, feeling joyous requires one thing from us. When we live a meaningful life, we will find great joy Joy is vivid and expansive and transformative. And the emotion arises...
Abundance is a state of peace, prosperity, and deep happiness. It’s characterized by gratitude for the things we have, even in situations where—to others—it may seem like we have very little. Abundance is a literal and emotional solution to poverty. All of us experience some form of poverty in our lifetimes. The most common is financial, but there are dozens of other types. We can lack healthy relationships, feel spiritually disconnected, or have a poverty of...
Imagine waking up each day with a sense of wonder and excitement. You would easily jump out of bed, excited to see what the day brings. Work would be interesting. You couldn’t wait for the meals you’ll eat. You’d even be excited by your daily commute! This sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, many of us feel stuck in our daily routine. This is far from the joy I just described. Boredom is a state all of...
Have you ever wondered why millions of people read self-help books, but so few actually end up feeling more joyous? There’s one key understanding that’s rarely talked about, but essential for helping us employ everything we read, hear, absorb, or are coached towards. This allows us to find joy. It all starts with an extremely common (totally false) phrase we too often say or think: “I’d be happy if…” and we fill in the blank with some...