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Loneliness after abuse: how to let go of toxic people

Loneliness After Abuse: How to Let Go of Toxic People

Loneliness is a part of being human, but it takes a greater toll on us survivors of abuse. We feel more isolated and dejected than your average person.  A break up for us might mean complicated grief or a rise in feelings of abandonment. The death of someone close seems like proof for the belief saying “we deserve to be punished.” Even our conscious decisions to leave those who hurt us brings unique grief. The feeling...

The #1 belief ruining your self esteem and how to fix it

The #1 Belief Ruining Your Self Esteem and How to Fix It

It's because of the abuse you faced that you have low self-esteem. It's not because of anything you did or who you are. But it feels like those two things are the reason right? Like there is something wrong with, well, you…?  That's because your abuser deliberately created a belief that you deserve to be hurt. They told you literally through words or their actions that you weren't worth anything.  That your role was to be hurt by...

Love life after abuse with these 3 simple steps

Life After Abuse: 3 Ways to Fall in Love with Every Moment

A great life after abuse. It kinda sounds like a foreign concept, doesn’t it? What does life even mean after you been attacked and harmed by another human being?  I get it. My life is not the same as it would have been if I had never been abused. In fact, part of life after abuse is facing that grief. Even more so, it's that wish that we had a different life. But, despite the pain you went...

Here’s How to Want Tomorrow to Come When Life is Hard

Was today exhausting? Like the idea of waking up for tomorrow sounds like the most challenging thing to do? I mean who wants to get up for tomorrow that might be just as bad as today? I doubt any person would say “I do” to that.  But the thing is, us survivors of abuse don't have a choice. We have to wake up for tomorrow, even though it still carries the pain of our past trauma.  If we don't...

Your Life Matters: How to See the Gifts You Bring This World

Having trouble feeling like there's any purpose to keep going on? Like you should feel that life matters…but it just doesn’t?  This isn't unusual for us survivors of abuse. We had to numb ourselves to all the good things in life in order to survive the horrible trauma that we faced. And now that means that you walk with pain on your shoulders and a heavy heart. But this doesn't mean that your light has disappeared. This...

3 Remarkable Steps to Overcome a Lifetime of Self Hatred

I’m going to be frank. Self-hatred sucks. It's probably the biggest burden that all survivors of abuse live with. And I bet you are plagued by it too. Self-hatred is not only exhausting…it also limits the love we have in our relationships. It makes us feel like a failure anytime we have a simple mistake. It's so unfair that your abuser made you live with self hatred. (After all, this emotion was really a tool that they used...

How to Love Yourself: The Actual Way Most Self-Help People Ignore

“How to love yourself”—yep, this might not sound like all that original of a blog from the start. But I want to show you something super important, and I’ve only ever seen one other personal development leader talk about it.  Loving ourselves is an art that becomes much trickier after surviving abuse. I also think, though, that it gives us an advantage in some ways.  Because our abusers created such deep shame and self-hatred, we have to...

Why You Never Need to Forgive and Forget Abuse

You never have to forgive your abuser. You never have to forget or deny what you went through. If you want to share your story publicly, go ahead. If you want to hate the people who hurt you, you have every right. Don’t listen to the people who say “forgive and forget.”  This advice usually comes with good intentions, but it’s hard to properly deliver it to a survivor of abuse. Since, well, it’s usually people...

It’s Okay to be a Survivor of Abuse who Lives in the Past

Your past lives in you—you don’t live in the past. Trauma and abuse memories, like anything significant in life, sticks with us.  There’s no shame in feeling like your past follows you around, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to handle either. Many of us survivors feel hopeless at the idea that our brains have literally changed as a result of abuse. Are we doomed to struggle with it forever?  It’s true that trauma has changed us,...

The Astonishing Way to Turn Emotional Vulnerability Positive

The Astonishing Way to Turn Emotional Vulnerability Positive

Emotional vulnerability is a beautiful and empowering thing. It can lead to authentic and healthy relationships, increase our own self compassion, and bring us to greater places in healing. After abuse, though, it can be challenging to face the raw emotions that come with recovery. Meaning that vulnerability can feel overwhelming and hard to handle, unless you know how to safely experience it. That’s what this video is for. I’ll show you how to make...

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