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Just left an abuser how to handle the doubt and grief

Just Left an Abuser? How to Handle the Doubt and Grief

Ah, the dreaded task of leaving an abuser…  Most likely, if you’re on this blog, you already have left the people who hurt you (or at least the most severe ones), but that doesn’t mean you feel great about your decision.  I bet you have some seriously complicated feelings around your choice to walk away. There’s a lot of emotion that goes into leaving an abuser. (I actually talked a ton about that grief right here) It’s natural...

How to overcome feeling suicidal with one simple exercise

How to Overcome Feeling Suicidal with One Simple Exercise

Feeling suicidal after abuse is extremely common. In fact, trauma is statistically one of the top reasons people take their own life.  I wanted to address this in a realistic and honest blog. Because I too have felt suicidal (as have my alters)—and I’ve been able to make it through. My hope with this blog is to help you do the same. I know that this technique won’t work for everyone, but I do hope you give...

coping with loss when you were hurt by that person

Coping with Loss When You Were Hurt by that Person

Coping with loss in general is tough, but even more so if that person was an abuser. Whether it was through their death or your conscious choice to leave them, grief is natural and expected. Though that doesn’t make it easy. So how do you handle it?  Especially when half the time you feel guilty for even having a sense of missing them? (After all—why miss someone who hurt you so much?) Well, there are some very logical...

How to overcome the burden of generational trauma

How to Overcome the Burden of Generational Trauma

Generational trauma is something every survivor of abuse should understand. If you don’t know what it is and how it affects your life, you’re setting yourself up for repeating toxic cycles. But—if you know what generational trauma is and you own up to facing its impact, to being the change in the cycle, you’re going to do amazing things. You’re setting yourself up for joy, prosperity, and peace. So what really is generational trauma? Abuse tends to be...

Loneliness after abuse: how to let go of toxic people

Loneliness After Abuse: How to Let Go of Toxic People

Loneliness is a part of being human, but it takes a greater toll on us survivors of abuse. We feel more isolated and dejected than your average person.  A break up for us might mean complicated grief or a rise in feelings of abandonment. The death of someone close seems like proof for the belief saying “we deserve to be punished.” Even our conscious decisions to leave those who hurt us brings unique grief. The feeling...

The #1 belief ruining your self esteem and how to fix it

The #1 Belief Ruining Your Self Esteem and How to Fix It

It's because of the abuse you faced that you have low self-esteem. It's not because of anything you did or who you are. But it feels like those two things are the reason right? Like there is something wrong with, well, you…?  That's because your abuser deliberately created a belief that you deserve to be hurt. They told you literally through words or their actions that you weren't worth anything.  That your role was to be hurt by...

Love life after abuse with these 3 simple steps

Life After Abuse: 3 Ways to Fall in Love with Every Moment

A great life after abuse. It kinda sounds like a foreign concept, doesn’t it? What does life even mean after you been attacked and harmed by another human being?  I get it. My life is not the same as it would have been if I had never been abused. In fact, part of life after abuse is facing that grief. Even more so, it's that wish that we had a different life. But, despite the pain you went...

Here’s How to Want Tomorrow to Come When Life is Hard

Was today exhausting? Like the idea of waking up for tomorrow sounds like the most challenging thing to do? I mean who wants to get up for tomorrow that might be just as bad as today? I doubt any person would say “I do” to that.  But the thing is, us survivors of abuse don't have a choice. We have to wake up for tomorrow, even though it still carries the pain of our past trauma.  If we don't...

Your Life Matters: How to See the Gifts You Bring This World

Having trouble feeling like there's any purpose to keep going on? Like you should feel that life matters…but it just doesn’t?  This isn't unusual for us survivors of abuse. We had to numb ourselves to all the good things in life in order to survive the horrible trauma that we faced. And now that means that you walk with pain on your shoulders and a heavy heart. But this doesn't mean that your light has disappeared. This...

3 Remarkable Steps to Overcome a Lifetime of Self Hatred

I’m going to be frank. Self-hatred sucks. It's probably the biggest burden that all survivors of abuse live with. And I bet you are plagued by it too. Self-hatred is not only exhausting…it also limits the love we have in our relationships. It makes us feel like a failure anytime we have a simple mistake. It's so unfair that your abuser made you live with self hatred. (After all, this emotion was really a tool that they used...

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