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Find It Hard to Heal From Abuse? How to Stop Blaming Yourself

Find It Hard to Heal From Abuse? How to Stop Blaming Yourself

There was a viral post that went around Facebook a few months ago, about how it was harmful to say “Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility.”  That phrase had always rubbed me the wrong way, but I didn’t know why until I was a part of that discussion. And boy, did I learn a lot! It helped me understand how I used that sentiment to guilt myself into healing, and how others—like...

3 Types of Meditation to Avoid as a Survivor of Abuse

3 Types of Meditation to Avoid as a Survivor of Abuse

Mindfulness is an almost essential practice when we’re recovering from a traumatic past. Whether it’s therapeutic techniques (like Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), straight up yoga practices, morning meditations, or reading The Power of Now—there’s some level of mindfulness that’s necessary for our healing. Mindfulness teaches us how to tolerate stronger emotions, so they don’t overwhelm us. But…there are certain types of meditation that can actually do a lot of harm to us survivors of abuse. Or, at...

You are Capable of Finding Joy After Abuse—Here’s How to Start

You are Capable of Finding Joy After Abuse—Here’s How to Start

Does past abuse ruin our chances of living a good life (let alone finding joy)? My vision of a “best life” was essentially being okay with waking up each day. No longer wanting to give up. Surviving. I didn’t think any more than that was possible. That sounded like the best I could have in life…and I’ve discovered many other survivors feel this way too. We guess we can get to an okay life—but don’t believe...

The one thing you need to successfully break bad habits

The One Thing You Need to Successfully Break Bad Habits

Feeling trapped by a bad habit? Struggling to break it no matter how many apps, techniques, and strategies you use? Breaking bad habits can definitely be an uphill battle. You’re forcing your brain to completely rewire an old pattern—and our brains honestly don’t want to do that! Our minds don’t like change, they like sticking with what works…even if “what works” isn’t all that great.  Fortunately, there’s a way around this mental resistance. One little trick we...

How to reclaim peace after a friend betrayed you

How to Reclaim Peace After a Friend Betrayed You

Being betrayed by a friend is one of the most painful experiences we can have. Whether that’s them turning abusive, revealing a secret they promised to keep, or hurting us in some other way—it destroys the relationship we had with them.  And that’s painful. Betrayal cuts deeply into our hearts. Their betrayal also tells us what to think about ourselves and our worth, which can hurt more than the loss of the friendship. This can cause us...

The one key thing you need to control your emotions of regret

The One Key Thing You Need to Control Your Emotions of Regret

This might sound weird, but regret is a surprisingly helpful feeling. It helps us control emotions trauma brings up, preventing us from ending up in a crisis.  But…it definitely doesn’t feel pleasant, right? So how could it possibly be helpful? How can regret, an emotion that often speaks to us with self-hatred, be beneficial?  And yes, I am talking about that regret that tells you “You shouldn’t have dressed that way” or “you shouldn’t have dated him.”...

What you need to stop feeling discouraged (even after years of abuse recovery)

What You Need to Stop Feeling Discouraged (Even After Years of Abuse Recovery)

If you’re a survivor of abuse who’s been working for years (or even decades) to heal and you feel discouraged because you haven’t made much progress, this blog is for you.  We all know it’s a journey to heal from abuse, especially if you were hurt in childhood. Your entire formative years were created around painful, traumatic experiences—and changing how this affected you isn’t going to happen overnight.  But, after the years of work you’ve put in,...

Why you have a scarcity mindset after abuse and how to heal it, title image on background of purple flower field

Why You Have a Scarcity Mindset After Abuse (& How to Heal It)

It’s super common for us survivors of abuse to have a scarcity mindset. That’s when we constantly feel like we’re struggling to have what we need to survive, usually not enough money. Abuse impacts us in many ways, and sometimes that means leaving us in poverty. Depending on where you live and what resources you have available to you, being poor can be a real threat to your survival.  You need food, shelter, and medical care to...

Lost all your friends to victim blaming? Here's how to handle it

Lost All Your Friends to Victim Blaming? Here’s How to Handle It

Victim blaming can be as traumatic as the initial abuse, especially when all of your friends leave—blaming you for what happened and shaming you for sharing your story.  This shame, right after we make the courageous move to leave our abusers, can be extremely detrimental to our healing. In some cases the victim blaming can be so severe it convinces the victim to return to their abuser.  In this blog, I’ll debunk the mystery of why people...

The Love Letter Your Inner Child Needs After Abuse

Your inner child needs a lot of love after all you’ve been through. The abuse you faced when you were younger (and perhaps older too) was unfair and unjust. I know how heavily it weighs on you.  Your inner child, the part of you longing for the love you never got, is hurting with that same pain. So, today, it’s time to share unconditional love with this part of you. This blog is formatted like a letter....

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