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What you need to stop feeling discouraged (even after years of abuse recovery)

What You Need to Stop Feeling Discouraged (Even After Years of Abuse Recovery)

If you’re a survivor of abuse who’s been working for years (or even decades) to heal and you feel discouraged because you haven’t made much progress, this blog is for you.  We all know it’s a journey to heal from abuse, especially if you were hurt in childhood. Your entire formative years were created around painful, traumatic experiences—and changing how this affected you isn’t going to happen overnight.  But, after the years of work you’ve put in,...

Why you have a scarcity mindset after abuse and how to heal it, title image on background of purple flower field

Why You Have a Scarcity Mindset After Abuse (& How to Heal It)

It’s super common for us survivors of abuse to have a scarcity mindset. That’s when we constantly feel like we’re struggling to have what we need to survive, usually not enough money. Abuse impacts us in many ways, and sometimes that means leaving us in poverty. Depending on where you live and what resources you have available to you, being poor can be a real threat to your survival.  You need food, shelter, and medical care to...

Lost all your friends to victim blaming? Here's how to handle it

Lost All Your Friends to Victim Blaming? Here’s How to Handle It

Victim blaming can be as traumatic as the initial abuse, especially when all of your friends leave—blaming you for what happened and shaming you for sharing your story.  This shame, right after we make the courageous move to leave our abusers, can be extremely detrimental to our healing. In some cases the victim blaming can be so severe it convinces the victim to return to their abuser.  In this blog, I’ll debunk the mystery of why people...

The Love Letter Your Inner Child Needs After Abuse

Your inner child needs a lot of love after all you’ve been through. The abuse you faced when you were younger (and perhaps older too) was unfair and unjust. I know how heavily it weighs on you.  Your inner child, the part of you longing for the love you never got, is hurting with that same pain. So, today, it’s time to share unconditional love with this part of you. This blog is formatted like a letter....

Find remarkable peace by ending this hidden cycle of abuse

Find Remarkable Peace by Ending this Hidden Cycle of Abuse

There are two cycles of abuse that can linger in us survivors. We can continue abusive behaviors towards ourselves—harming ourselves even after we’ve escaped those who abused us.  Or, much more rarely, survivors can go on to abuse others. (This isn’t common, as survivors are for more likely to be repeat victims than they are to perpetrate abuse.)  Codependency and poor communication are more common—but can be deeply damaging.  In any of these cases, harm and hurt continues. This...

32+ Resources: Recovering from Abuse with All the Help You Need

Recovering from abuse is a journey of emotional ups and downs. Those difficult moments are the times we need support—sometimes more than our friends can provide.  We need help with flashbacks, fears, and trauma memories. We need to talk with people who truly understand the hardship of PTSD and the life-long impact of abuse. Each one of us finds support in different ways, so this blog is meant to list a bunch of resources you can pick...

How to Reduce the Pain of Grief in a Loving Way

Every survivor of abuse has experienced grief. It’s not always when a person leaves us or someone passes on—sometimes it’s the loss we feel over the fun childhood we never had. Or the betrayal of someone we thought loved us.  Grief is always complex—even more so when abuse is involved. Sometimes we attach to our abuser and feel devastated when they’re gone.  Or, other times, grief comes with anger…at our abusers or at the Universe for cursing...

How to Love Again after a Lifetime of Abuse

It’s difficult to love again after abuse.   There may be compassionate and kind people who come into our life, but learning to trust them can seem nearly impossible. Or we settle for anything better than our past relationships—even if they aren’t great and we don’t truly feel a connection. They’re just someone less toxic than our abuser. There are several things each one of us needs to face and do before we can truly feel in...

The Direct Path You Need to Follow to Thrive after Abuse

We all enjoy dreaming of a better life. One where we thrive after abuse—less PTSD, stable finances, happier relationships. Whatever that dream is for you.  We have to dream to stay hopeful, but we often try to reach our ideal life without taking some important healing steps first. Without this foundation, even the best goals and opportunities will (most likely) collapse around us. Everyone healing from abuse has to go through the same (or at least an...

Conquer Your PTSD Triggers: The Technique You Need to Know

PTSD triggers can sneak up almost anywhere, even in the most benign conversations or situations. And they can wreck our mood, day, or even send us into a crisis. It isn’t always the common topics, like abuse and violence, that send us into flashbacks or panic attacks. Sometimes, it’s a regular and everyday experience that reminds us of the trauma we faced.  Heck, cherry tomatoes have been a serious trigger for me before. Because PTSD triggers are so...

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