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How to Love Yourself: The Actual Way Most Self-Help People Ignore

“How to love yourself”—yep, this might not sound like all that original of a blog from the start. But I want to show you something super important, and I’ve only ever seen one other personal development leader talk about it.  Loving ourselves is an art that becomes much trickier after surviving abuse. I also think, though, that it gives us an advantage in some ways.  Because our abusers created such deep shame and self-hatred, we have to...

Why You Never Need to Forgive and Forget Abuse

You never have to forgive your abuser. You never have to forget or deny what you went through. If you want to share your story publicly, go ahead. If you want to hate the people who hurt you, you have every right. Don’t listen to the people who say “forgive and forget.”  This advice usually comes with good intentions, but it’s hard to properly deliver it to a survivor of abuse. Since, well, it’s usually people...

It’s Okay to be a Survivor of Abuse who Lives in the Past

Your past lives in you—you don’t live in the past. Trauma and abuse memories, like anything significant in life, sticks with us.  There’s no shame in feeling like your past follows you around, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to handle either. Many of us survivors feel hopeless at the idea that our brains have literally changed as a result of abuse. Are we doomed to struggle with it forever?  It’s true that trauma has changed us,...

The Astonishing Way to Turn Emotional Vulnerability Positive

The Astonishing Way to Turn Emotional Vulnerability Positive

Emotional vulnerability is a beautiful and empowering thing. It can lead to authentic and healthy relationships, increase our own self compassion, and bring us to greater places in healing. After abuse, though, it can be challenging to face the raw emotions that come with recovery. Meaning that vulnerability can feel overwhelming and hard to handle, unless you know how to safely experience it. That’s what this video is for. I’ll show you how to make...

Invest in Yourself: How to Find Genuine Healing After Abuse

Do you want to show your abuser that they didn’t win? That they don’t have control over your life? Then invest in yourself—in your healing, your joy, your prosperity. You deserve to have an amazing life and I know, firsthand, just how tough it can feel to get this after you’ve been abused. It seems like trauma will forever knock us down, limit us, and stop us from reaching our true potential. But this is...

Why it's important to make space for emotional pain

Why It’s Important to Make Space for Emotional Pain

Trauma creates emotional pain. It’s an unfortunate part of being a survivor of abuse, but it is a reality we face and something that’s healthy to acknowledge. When we reject emotional pain, we deepen its hold on us. It stops being processed and healed—which means we will never feel liberated from it. The pain grows in intensity beneath the surface, trying to get our attention. Naturally, working through that pain is the best path towards recovery....

Powerful benefits of mindfulness for survivors of abuse

Powerful Benefits of Mindfulness for Survivors of Abuse

There are incredible benefits of mindfulness for us survivors of abuse. It can help us heal from trauma, see the world in a more positive way, and tolerate the stress of recovery better. Plus so so much more. But, there are certain types of mindfulness that help…and others that can hurt. It’s important that any survivor venturing into this field knows what to look for—and that’s why I created this video! Good mindfulness practices should help...

How to Feel Safe in the World After Abuse

Abuse strips us of the ability to feel safe in this world. We were shown the darkest sides of humanity, often at the hands of someone that we trusted. They told us, through their actions, that the world is not often a kind place. This is the toughest part of surviving abuse. To have our view of the world be marked with the constant thought of “I’m not safe here.” And, when we’re constantly on...

How to Make Letting Go of Someone (Like an Abuser) Easier

Letting go of someone means no longer feeling like they control your life. It means not spending every day wishing you could go back to them or believing what they did to you will limit your future forevermore. Letting go of someone, especially an abuser, is about more than just walking away. You have to start to separate from their lingering control of your life. This makes it easier to handle them no longer being...

Find Safe and Compassionate Love After Abuse

“Love after abuse.” It’s something every survivor wants and yet it also feels the farthest out of reach. How will someone come to love us with this ‘baggage?’ How do we build a relationship with someone who is actually good for us? These question are painful because, truthfully, these are blocking our way towards love. There will be people who will discard us as survivors. (As immoral and icky as that is.) Others may treat...

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