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In a dissociative crisis try these 4 grounding techniques

In a Dissociative Crisis? Try These 4 Grounding Techniques

Dissociation is a powerful coping mechanism. It’s our brain’s way of saying “Hey, this is too intense, so I’m gonna check out for a bit.” Unfortunately, that inner distance also detaches us from our life—leading us to feel miserable, depressed, and like we’re living in a dream. This where grounding techniques come into play.  They can bring us close to feelings and experiences in a safe, supportive way. Dissociation will dissolve. Your body and mind are processing...

Just left an abuser how to handle the doubt and grief

Just Left an Abuser? How to Handle the Doubt and Grief

Ah, the dreaded task of leaving an abuser…  Most likely, if you’re on this blog, you already have left the people who hurt you (or at least the most severe ones), but that doesn’t mean you feel great about your decision.  I bet you have some seriously complicated feelings around your choice to walk away. There’s a lot of emotion that goes into leaving an abuser. (I actually talked a ton about that grief right here) It’s natural...

How to overcome feeling suicidal with one simple exercise

How to Overcome Feeling Suicidal with One Simple Exercise

Feeling suicidal after abuse is extremely common. In fact, trauma is statistically one of the top reasons people take their own life.  I wanted to address this in a realistic and honest blog. Because I too have felt suicidal (as have my alters)—and I’ve been able to make it through. My hope with this blog is to help you do the same. I know that this technique won’t work for everyone, but I do hope you give...

coping with loss when you were hurt by that person

Coping with Loss When You Were Hurt by that Person

Coping with loss in general is tough, but even more so if that person was an abuser. Whether it was through their death or your conscious choice to leave them, grief is natural and expected. Though that doesn’t make it easy. So how do you handle it?  Especially when half the time you feel guilty for even having a sense of missing them? (After all—why miss someone who hurt you so much?) Well, there are some very logical...

How to survive the most intense emotional flashbacks

How to Survive the Most Intense Emotional Flashbacks

Ick. Emotional flashbacks. Easily the most difficult thing we face as survivors of abuse.  Emotional flashbacks are when an emotion comes out of nowhere. We might be enjoying a good book outside on a nice spring day…then bam! Suddenly we’re upset, scared, and traumatized.  It’s like two big hands grip us and toss us around, squeezing our heart with some completely surprising and uncalled-for feeling.  And, boy do these feel out of control.  They’re easily the most unpredictable PTSD...

Here’s How to Want Tomorrow to Come When Life is Hard

Was today exhausting? Like the idea of waking up for tomorrow sounds like the most challenging thing to do? I mean who wants to get up for tomorrow that might be just as bad as today? I doubt any person would say “I do” to that.  But the thing is, us survivors of abuse don't have a choice. We have to wake up for tomorrow, even though it still carries the pain of our past trauma.  If we don't...

The True Solution to the Winter Blues

Winter can be such a tough season. The cold, the overcast, the lack of desire to go outside…or even get out of bed. Talk about the winter blues!  My productivity, focus, and energy all drop by at least 40% in the winter, but it used to be at least 70%. I’d barely be able to function because of a mix of seasonal depression and physical symptoms…all brought on by the cold.  The winter blues, or seasonal affective...

How to be Unconditionally Empathetic

How to be Unconditionally Empathetic

With so many resources out there on empathy…why do we still struggle to be empathetic (both personally and as a society)?  It’s all because we’re missing the first step—turning acceptance and understanding towards ourselves. If we deny ourselves empathy, we deny the world it too.  I learned this technique in a really wacky, unconventional way, but it’s one of the most critical on my road to recovery. Without it, I don’t think I could cope with the...

How to Ensure Space in a Relationship Doesn’t Destroy You

How to Ensure Space in a Relationship Doesn’t Destroy You

It can be a terrifying thing when someone says “I need space.” We start wondering if we did something wrong. Are they going to leave us? Are we unwanted? Space in a relationship is vulnerable for us survivors of abuse—but it is possible to reclaim it as a healthy thing. Every individual person has their own needs and sometimes that includes alone time. Often, when a need for space crops up, it’s completely unrelated to...

Powerful benefits of mindfulness for survivors of abuse

Powerful Benefits of Mindfulness for Survivors of Abuse

There are incredible benefits of mindfulness for us survivors of abuse. It can help us heal from trauma, see the world in a more positive way, and tolerate the stress of recovery better. Plus so so much more. But, there are certain types of mindfulness that help…and others that can hurt. It’s important that any survivor venturing into this field knows what to look for—and that’s why I created this video! Good mindfulness practices should help...

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