Loneliness is a part of being human, but it takes a greater toll on us survivors of abuse. We feel more isolated and dejected than your average person. A break up for us might mean complicated grief or a rise in feelings of abandonment. The death of someone close seems like proof for the belief saying “we deserve to be punished.” Even our conscious decisions to leave those who hurt us brings unique grief. The feeling...
It's because of the abuse you faced that you have low self-esteem. It's not because of anything you did or who you are. But it feels like those two things are the reason right? Like there is something wrong with, well, you…? That's because your abuser deliberately created a belief that you deserve to be hurt. They told you literally through words or their actions that you weren't worth anything. That your role was to be hurt by...
A great life after abuse. It kinda sounds like a foreign concept, doesn’t it? What does life even mean after you been attacked and harmed by another human being? I get it. My life is not the same as it would have been if I had never been abused. In fact, part of life after abuse is facing that grief. Even more so, it's that wish that we had a different life. But, despite the pain you went...
Was today exhausting? Like the idea of waking up for tomorrow sounds like the most challenging thing to do? I mean who wants to get up for tomorrow that might be just as bad as today? I doubt any person would say “I do” to that. But the thing is, us survivors of abuse don't have a choice. We have to wake up for tomorrow, even though it still carries the pain of our past trauma. If we don't...
Having trouble feeling like there's any purpose to keep going on? Like you should feel that life matters…but it just doesn’t? This isn't unusual for us survivors of abuse. We had to numb ourselves to all the good things in life in order to survive the horrible trauma that we faced. And now that means that you walk with pain on your shoulders and a heavy heart. But this doesn't mean that your light has disappeared. This...
Wish you could actually believe in yourself? That you could walk this world with an empowered mindset? Well, these 25 affirmations may be the perfect answer for you…as long as you know how to properly use them! Far too many people believe that affirmations are just something you say and then you start to believe it. That'd be awesome and they'd be super powerful if that was the case, but it's simply not like that. Affirmations are a...
I’m going to be frank. Self-hatred sucks. It's probably the biggest burden that all survivors of abuse live with. And I bet you are plagued by it too. Self-hatred is not only exhausting…it also limits the love we have in our relationships. It makes us feel like a failure anytime we have a simple mistake. It's so unfair that your abuser made you live with self hatred. (After all, this emotion was really a tool that they used...
Bad relationships can happen to any of us. Seriously, even a survivors of abuse who have a ton of experience with toxic relationships can be swept away by them. So, that's why it's important for us to consciously (highlight on that) know these seven key signs of a bad relationship. We know them in our subconscious…but, let’s face it. It’s easy to ignore that voice. These signs will jump between projecting emotions onto you, lacking accountability, and...
“How to love yourself”—yep, this might not sound like all that original of a blog from the start. But I want to show you something super important, and I’ve only ever seen one other personal development leader talk about it. Loving ourselves is an art that becomes much trickier after surviving abuse. I also think, though, that it gives us an advantage in some ways. Because our abusers created such deep shame and self-hatred, we have to...
You never have to forgive your abuser. You never have to forget or deny what you went through. If you want to share your story publicly, go ahead. If you want to hate the people who hurt you, you have every right. Don’t listen to the people who say “forgive and forget.” This advice usually comes with good intentions, but it’s hard to properly deliver it to a survivor of abuse. Since, well, it’s usually people...