With so many resources out there on empathy…why do we still struggle to be empathetic (both personally and as a society)? It’s all because we’re missing the first step—turning acceptance and understanding towards ourselves. If we deny ourselves empathy, we deny the world it too. I learned this technique in a really wacky, unconventional way, but it’s one of the most critical on my road to recovery. Without it, I don’t think I could cope with the...
Emotional vulnerability is a beautiful and empowering thing. It can lead to authentic and healthy relationships, increase our own self compassion, and bring us to greater places in healing. After abuse, though, it can be challenging to face the raw emotions that come with recovery. Meaning that vulnerability can feel overwhelming and hard to handle, unless you know how to safely experience it. That’s what this video is for. I’ll show you how to make...
It can be a terrifying thing when someone says “I need space.” We start wondering if we did something wrong. Are they going to leave us? Are we unwanted? Space in a relationship is vulnerable for us survivors of abuse—but it is possible to reclaim it as a healthy thing. Every individual person has their own needs and sometimes that includes alone time. Often, when a need for space crops up, it’s completely unrelated to...
Do you want to show your abuser that they didn’t win? That they don’t have control over your life? Then invest in yourself—in your healing, your joy, your prosperity. You deserve to have an amazing life and I know, firsthand, just how tough it can feel to get this after you’ve been abused. It seems like trauma will forever knock us down, limit us, and stop us from reaching our true potential. But this is...
Trauma creates emotional pain. It’s an unfortunate part of being a survivor of abuse, but it is a reality we face and something that’s healthy to acknowledge. When we reject emotional pain, we deepen its hold on us. It stops being processed and healed—which means we will never feel liberated from it. The pain grows in intensity beneath the surface, trying to get our attention. Naturally, working through that pain is the best path towards recovery....
There are incredible benefits of mindfulness for us survivors of abuse. It can help us heal from trauma, see the world in a more positive way, and tolerate the stress of recovery better. Plus so so much more. But, there are certain types of mindfulness that help…and others that can hurt. It’s important that any survivor venturing into this field knows what to look for—and that’s why I created this video! Good mindfulness practices should help...
Abuse strips us of the ability to feel safe in this world. We were shown the darkest sides of humanity, often at the hands of someone that we trusted. They told us, through their actions, that the world is not often a kind place. This is the toughest part of surviving abuse. To have our view of the world be marked with the constant thought of “I’m not safe here.” And, when we’re constantly on...
It doesn’t matter that you’re just one person. You are a powerful person and you can make an impact in the world. When you do this, you’ll be lighting up your own life too. Abuse is a difficult hand to be dealt. It leaves us with a lot of painful emotions, memories, and impacts, meaning that it’s tough to live a fulfilling and joyous life. But tough doesn’t mean impossible. When you choose to make...
Codependency has become a dirty word. It casts shame on a person, leaving them with the stigma of being “needy” or “draining” or “burdensome.” Being codependent, or being in a codependent relationship, does not make anyone a bad person. It’s true that codependency can be dysfunctional, but that doesn’t make the people in the relationship bad. Yet, if you find yourself being codependent, it can do a lot of harm to your life. It can push...
Letting go of someone means no longer feeling like they control your life. It means not spending every day wishing you could go back to them or believing what they did to you will limit your future forevermore. Letting go of someone, especially an abuser, is about more than just walking away. You have to start to separate from their lingering control of your life. This makes it easier to handle them no longer being...