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4 Steps to Overcome Limiting Beliefs after Abuse

4 Steps to Overcome Limiting Beliefs after Abuse

Trauma leaves us with a bunch of limiting beliefs. These are subconscious patterns that inform how we see ourselves and the world. Things we believe.  Beliefs themselves aren’t bad, many are neutral or good. But some are damaging. They hold us back—limiting us. These, logically, are called limiting beliefs.  Every single person, with a history of trauma or not, has limiting beliefs. But, as survivors of abuse, ours are often more impactful than your average person who’s...

How to Find Self Acceptance after Child Abuse

How to Find Self Acceptance after Child Abuse

We can’t travel back in time and change our past…and this can cause a lot of despair. Difficult emotions may rage through you—scaring you and making it hard to find even one ounce of self acceptance. I get it. I truly, honestly do.  Loving ourselves in any capacity after abuse is hard—especially since that requires us to accept ourselves. That means accepting what happened to us and how it affects us today, including the tough emotions and...

The Prosperity Path_ How to Find Happiness After Abuse

The Prosperity Path: How to Find Happiness After Abuse

Three years ago, my therapist asked me, “Do you think you’ll be happy someday?” I thought about it for a moment before answering, “I don’t think so. Maybe I’ll learn to be okay and tolerate life, but I don’t think I’ll ever know how to find happiness.” I was so wrong. This would have shocked my 21-year-old self. How, after 15 years of violent abuse, could I ever truly feel happy? Looking back, I’m not surprised I love...

In a dissociative crisis try these 4 grounding techniques

In a Dissociative Crisis? Try These 4 Grounding Techniques

Dissociation is a powerful coping mechanism. It’s our brain’s way of saying “Hey, this is too intense, so I’m gonna check out for a bit.” Unfortunately, that inner distance also detaches us from our life—leading us to feel miserable, depressed, and like we’re living in a dream. This where grounding techniques come into play.  They can bring us close to feelings and experiences in a safe, supportive way. Dissociation will dissolve. Your body and mind are processing...

Just left an abuser how to handle the doubt and grief

Just Left an Abuser? How to Handle the Doubt and Grief

Ah, the dreaded task of leaving an abuser…  Most likely, if you’re on this blog, you already have left the people who hurt you (or at least the most severe ones), but that doesn’t mean you feel great about your decision.  I bet you have some seriously complicated feelings around your choice to walk away. There’s a lot of emotion that goes into leaving an abuser. (I actually talked a ton about that grief right here) It’s natural...

How to overcome feeling suicidal with one simple exercise

How to Overcome Feeling Suicidal with One Simple Exercise

Feeling suicidal after abuse is extremely common. In fact, trauma is statistically one of the top reasons people take their own life.  I wanted to address this in a realistic and honest blog. Because I too have felt suicidal (as have my alters)—and I’ve been able to make it through. My hope with this blog is to help you do the same. I know that this technique won’t work for everyone, but I do hope you give...

coping with loss when you were hurt by that person

Coping with Loss When You Were Hurt by that Person

Coping with loss in general is tough, but even more so if that person was an abuser. Whether it was through their death or your conscious choice to leave them, grief is natural and expected. Though that doesn’t make it easy. So how do you handle it?  Especially when half the time you feel guilty for even having a sense of missing them? (After all—why miss someone who hurt you so much?) Well, there are some very logical...

How to survive the most intense emotional flashbacks

How to Survive the Most Intense Emotional Flashbacks

Ick. Emotional flashbacks. Easily the most difficult thing we face as survivors of abuse.  Emotional flashbacks are when an emotion comes out of nowhere. We might be enjoying a good book outside on a nice spring day…then bam! Suddenly we’re upset, scared, and traumatized.  It’s like two big hands grip us and toss us around, squeezing our heart with some completely surprising and uncalled-for feeling.  And, boy do these feel out of control.  They’re easily the most unpredictable PTSD...

Design your destiny and purpose of life after abuse

Design Your Destiny and Purpose of Life After Abuse

“What do I want to make with my life?” is quite literally the most powerful question you can ask yourself. Why? Well, it gives you the chance to define your own unique purpose of life.  When you feel like there is a purpose to life—a reason that you exist in this world—you’ll feel ready to face each day. Even the days that are hard and tiring.  You won’t feel paralyzed by challenges. Obstacles will no longer seem...

How to overcome the burden of generational trauma

How to Overcome the Burden of Generational Trauma

Generational trauma is something every survivor of abuse should understand. If you don’t know what it is and how it affects your life, you’re setting yourself up for repeating toxic cycles. But—if you know what generational trauma is and you own up to facing its impact, to being the change in the cycle, you’re going to do amazing things. You’re setting yourself up for joy, prosperity, and peace. So what really is generational trauma? Abuse tends to be...

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