Do you ever start to love someone too much, then get scared and push them away? Sabotaging relationships like this is super common for us survivors. And, unfortunately, we end up losing some of our closest relationships because of this. Why do we push away love—something we want so much? Because abuse made love scary. Uncertain. All you’re trying to do is protect yourself from more pain. And the way we do this is through...
Boundaries in relationships are notoriously difficult for us survivors of abuse. What if setting a boundary ruins our relationship? What is the difference between a boundary and just a desire…a want? Because of past abuse, setting boundaries in relationships seems unsafe and intimidating. After all, sometimes our abusers hurt us more when we tried to set a boundary. When you have strong boundaries, you will find deep emotional connections, safe relationships, and empowered empathy with others....
Life is lived in the moment. This is the most important truth for us survivors of abuse—especially those of us with dissociative amnesia. This condition causes us to forget a lot of things. Sometimes it’s just traumatic memories. At other times, amnesia can spread to even everyday things. Ranging from why we walked into a certain room to forgetting entire friendships. No human remembers everything, but those of us with dissociative amnesia witness the power...
Recovery is hard. Trauma is a daily battle for us survivors of abuse. Each fight is not an easy one. It’s completely natural to have a lack of motivation. In fact, as Mike Bundrant of the iNLP Center states, it's common for just about everyone to lack motivation at one point or another. You’ve fought hard. You have stood your ground in every battle and you’ve come out victorious. You’re still here and that’s what...
Inner peace is possible for you, and every other survivor of abuse, to find. It comes with one simple thing: building a home within yourself. Obviously, I’m not talking about a literal home. But rather, a safe place where you can feel and process all emotions. Where you exist authentically and can choose how to share your true self with the world. It’s by understanding that emotions are safe to feel and that you are...
Medication can save our lives when we have a mental illness. Therapy can work wonders. But sometimes, we need natural remedies for depression too. I'm a huge supporter of psychiatric medication. Just two weeks ago, my doctor was delayed (quite significantly) in refilling one of my scripts. And my gosh did I feel it! Panic attacks went from once every 3-4 days, to almost four times a day. Medicine can transform our lives, but it doesn't...
This is your life—not anyone else’s. You’re the one meant to make empowered decisions about your dreams and your future. And yet, are you constantly seeking approval from others? It’s so incredibly common for us survivors of abuse to wait on an “okay” from someone else. To constantly be seeking approval, even when we’re fully capable of making these decisions for ourselves. This isn’t anything to be ashamed of. This all came from a simple pattern...
You are not taking a step back in your recovery when PTSD comes back. When memories of abuse resurface. Truthfully, you can always improve your mental health even in the midst of the tough emotions of trauma recovery. The work you have been doing is still in play, even when it feels like you fell backwards. You’re always moving forwards—a part of moving forwards is letting your past come up so it can be healed....
You are so strong, whether you are happy or traumatized. Your emotional strength is unshakeable. You’ve survived so much and, even though this recovery is hard, I know you can survive it too. This entire video is a message about your infinite strength. It’s to inspire and uplift you, especially when you’re feeling weak or broken down. Emotional strength is not something that is only sometimes present. It isn’t defined by being able to force...
Have you ever been hanging out with friends and your mind says, “why do they even want to spend time with me?” Or doubted that you’re worthy of love? This is all due to guilt and shame, the kind that hurts and harms us survivors nearly every day. How do you overcome guilt and shame? How do you see yourself in a loving light? First, you have to understand what they are. Guilt and shame are...