It’s difficult to love again after abuse. There may be compassionate and kind people who come into our life, but learning to trust them can seem nearly impossible. Or we settle for anything better than our past relationships—even if they aren’t great and we don’t truly feel a connection. They’re just someone less toxic than our abuser. There are several things each one of us needs to face and do before we can truly feel in...
There is one technique guaranteed to lower stress in any situation. It’ll help you discover the best solutions, prevent exhaustion, and reduce the fear you feel while facing any challenging experience. It will help you manage stress in a self-loving, empowering way. It makes sense to doubt a way to manage stress like this exists. What could possibly guarantee you’ll feel better in any overwhelming situation? It’s actually a surprisingly simple technique—and one that’s radically changed my...
We all enjoy dreaming of a better life. One where we thrive after abuse—less PTSD, stable finances, happier relationships. Whatever that dream is for you. We have to dream to stay hopeful, but we often try to reach our ideal life without taking some important healing steps first. Without this foundation, even the best goals and opportunities will (most likely) collapse around us. Everyone healing from abuse has to go through the same (or at least an...
PTSD triggers can sneak up almost anywhere, even in the most benign conversations or situations. And they can wreck our mood, day, or even send us into a crisis. It isn’t always the common topics, like abuse and violence, that send us into flashbacks or panic attacks. Sometimes, it’s a regular and everyday experience that reminds us of the trauma we faced. Heck, cherry tomatoes have been a serious trigger for me before. Because PTSD triggers are so...
Anger can be explosive, lashing out at anyone we care about—innocent or not. Or it can stay buried, festering into self-hatred or self-harm. Or maybe we reject the protective side of anger, letting people walk over us. Dealing with anger, no matter how it shows in your life, can seem nearly impossible. But there are healthy and beautiful ways to handle this emotion. It’s simply about finding your anger’s unique voice and expression. I thought, for...
Wish you could believe in yourself, even in the face of criticism or doubt from others? Feeling hesitant about your decisions is normal after abuse. Your abuser had total control for a long time. It's logical that confidence is hard to find after the attacks you faced. This list of 25 confidence affirmations can get you to a place of self-empowerment, even after your trauma. The impact it has on your life won’t stop you from becoming...
It’s pretty common for survivors of abuse to have a fear of doctors. Anxiety during certain procedures, like injections, gynecology, or more invasive examinations is definitely not unheard of either. In fact, several people asked me to write about this topic. I’ve faced and (in a lot of ways) overcome this fear—so I knew it would be an important blog to create. Although I no longer have panic attacks at the idea of seeing a doctor, I...
Knowing how to love yourself after abuse can feel like a total mystery. There are plenty of articles saying what it’s like to have self-love and what we’re supposed to do to get it. But I’ve yet to find one actually sharing what the real journey towards self love looks like. That’s what this blog is for. There are steps to go through before we actually get to life-long self love. We also need to understand what self...
Us trauma survivors need self care to survive. But, it can be hard to think of the right method to use when we’re in the middle of a crisis—like a PTSD flashback or other symptom. This blog will provide you with a lifelong list of self care ideas, all meant to help your healing from abuse. (Other trauma survivors can definitely benefit from this too!) The list itself is broken up into 5 categories—helping you to discover...
Human touch. Something we all need, yet something many of us fear after abuse. It make sense touch is now scary. Previous displays of affection were often side by side with acts of violence. If you had asked me three years ago if I’d ever feel safe having sex, I would have said no. That intense level of affection sounded far too frightening. Sex had always, for 15 years, meant pain and violence and fear for...